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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I wonder if he used post-nup but really means something else. Upon hearing that you two are the only married ones, I would give him the benefit of the doubt here. I'm thinking his family suggested a way to make sure that "outsiders" (spouses, future spouses, etc.) stay out of the business dealings. I'm thinking there is a way that this can be done on a business level, and not on a personal/post-nup level. [/quote]

+1- I work in wealth management and it's very likely that the family was given this advice by an attorney or advisor.  The drama involved if someone gets a divorce is brutal.  I would hear him out and see if he has a proposed agreement drafted.  If so, get it reviewed by your own lawyer, & make sure you have a clear understanding of the current ownership structure (is it a corporation or partnership? What is the current valuation of the business, etc).  I'd do a lot of homework before seeing an attorney so you understand what the division of  assets would be now V after post nup.  Make sure you consider retirement accounts, insurance policies etc .... Consider debt incurred as well as the potential profit, it might be beneficial for you if business goes south to have something in place.

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[b]Listen to this poster, and the posters who advocate treating this purely as a business, not a personal matter.[/b]  Take the most hard-headed business like approach possible to this, do your homework, and get a good lawyer to advise you and review all documents for the protection of you and your children in ways your DH may not understand at all.

Ignore all the posters advocating divorce now or making this out to be a case of marital infidelity and just presume this was a family recommendation that your DH's family convinced him was necessary. Do not be an apologetic dishrag; this is the time to emulate Jessica Pearson or Diana Lockhart.  If your DH has never seen this side of you it's time he did; if he has never showed this side to his family, it's time he did.[/quote]

A 15 year marriage with 4 kids and equal earnings (or even not equal earnings, really) is NOT a business relationship though. That's the point.

What if the wife was here 14 years ago posting that she's worried about how to protect herself if she goes ahead and gets pregnant to this guy. Since her earnings (which she's already said currently exceed his, so certainly not insignificant, although she may not have been the higher earner at the time) would take a huge hit if she does ahead and gets pregnant and then has to take time off, and be the primary one responsible for small children so unable to travel or take high work load etc even if she gets full time care for her baby.

Would you be telling her to get a lawyer to draw up a contract where she's paid x amount to be billed against his future earnings over y period, or would you be telling her to stop being ridiculous, to simply not get married if she wasn't in this for the long haul, to accept that marriage is a personal matter and not a business decision, and that all she should do is do her best to make good decisions in terms of who she marries and then just see where the chips fall and hope the courts look after her fairly if/when it comes time to divorce?

I would be so furious if my husband of 15 years suggested such a thing. And if I were the higher earner like the OP (despite also having 4 children!) then I most definitely wouldn't be pushing for any promotions at work. The last thing you need to to have to pay this piece of work alimony on top of his expected windfall. Save your hard work for after the divorce.[/quote]

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