Reply to Would you marry someone with a history of mental illness?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Would you marry someone with a history of mental illness?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hell no. I have a friend with mental illness and she's a hot mess. Men are more likely to run away from women with mental illness. It's really sad that my friend can't figure out treatment and it's been 10 + years. She says anxiety keeps her from having a job. [/quote]

One person is not representative of every single person with a mental illness. There are many people without mental illnesses are more of a "hot mess" than some people with properly treated mental illnesses.[/quote]

New  poster here. You are correct. However I was once married to someone who was mentally ill, and now I worry about my kids every day. So far, so good, and I think we would already know if they inherited it. But it's terrifying.

I would never ever marry someone with a mental illness of any sort again. Use me as a cautionary tale. My life was a living hell. And there was no way to know he would develop his illness when I married him. 
[/quote]

I married someone who recently developed serious mental illness. My life is hell. [b]Like you, I worry about my kids developing it in the future.[/b]

I wish I hadn't ignored the red flag of the history of mental illness in the family.[/quote]

If you care about your kids, you will not stigmatize the mental illness.  Instead, teach your kids there's nothing to be ashamed about seeing a mental health professional.  There's no shame in seeking treatment, in taking meds.

If you continue to view mental illness as a red flag and a horrible thing, your kids will pick up on that and if they do ever have symptoms of a mental illness, they won't seek treatment, they won't develop healthy coping mechanisms, etc.

The issue isn't mental illness.  It's whether the person is self-aware, seeks treatment, takes responsibility and ownership of their mental health, takes meds if necessary, etc.

In the "my life is hell" scenarios I've seen, it's all been undiagnosed mental illness in which the person refuses to seek help or comply with medical advice, usually because they think it's "weak" or some BS like that.[/quote]

Refusing to accept you have a mental illness and refusing to take meds is not a product of "stigmatization" or of "lack of ownership" or of "thinking it is weak".

[b]Refusing to accept you have a mental illness and refusing to take meds [i]is itself a symptom of mental illness[/i] and you can't "educate" the mentally ill out of it any more than you can educate people out of schizophrenia.[/b]

http://www.mentalmeds.org/articles/anosognosia.html

[quote]Anosognosia is quite different. It is not simply denial of a problem, but the genuine inability to recognize that the problem exists. It is a common consequence of brain injuries, and occurs to varying degrees in such disorders such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and Alzheimer's disease. (I hasten to add that "common" does not mean "universal!" Most people who suffer from  these illnesses are quite aware that they are sick.)

Someone who has anosognosia isn't being difficult, or refusing to face the truth. He is literally unable to believe that his illness is, in fact, an illness. As a result, he does not see any reason to take medication that can control his illness. Many people who have anosognosia will refuse to take medication for schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, because they do not believe they are ill. If pushed, they may give the appearance of cooperation, while secretly discarding their medication.[/quote]
[/quote]

You use one specific mental illness as an example, when the term "mental illness" can mean a lot of different things.  And many mental illnesses -- depression, anxiety, some forms of OCD, PPD -- are very treatable and education can go a long way.  You take the most extreme mental illnesses and use them to paint with a broad brush.  Schizophrenia is very different than say depression or chronic anxiety.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics