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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with the therapy thing.  Truthfully I doubt DH will agree so I should just go asap myself.  But just to set the record straight (even though I am hurt by him right now), DH was surprised (more than me -- I think I figured it out when it was under a month from the date and we had no invitation) when I was excluded, fought for me to be included (or at least asked), and then said he wasn't going (although then moped/tantrumed until I relented) despite a lot of pressure from MIL/FIL (I don't think BIL cared).  He has kind of had this dumped on him too, since he knew his nephew before he ever met me and has built a relationship with his nephew for 13 years.  He feels like it is his brothers loss that he never wanted to get to know our girls and he feels like he shouldn't have to "punish" his nephew or himself because his brother is being "weird" (his words).  (And yes I nearly screamed when he called this "weird" and "quirky".)

I just don't see how marriages survive this.  DH is not going to "choose" me -- no way if it's between his brother, SIL, and niece/nephew who he knew before me with the pressure from his MIL/FIL to make sure him and his brother stay close as his "first family" (his mom/dad's words). He would have resented me for the rest of my life if he missed that stupid bar mitzvah even and I would have never heard the end of it.  DH is going to want the status quo but no way am I going to choose that -- twice a year trips to a brother who has now outwardly and openly treated our girls like that?  Even calls are going to make me cringe.  And MIL/FIL are fine -- I feel like they are pawns here too -- but basically this has made them chose sides and they are not going to support our marriage if it causes any heartache with BIL/DH.[/quote]

You are exhausting, op.  Every post you make refers to this family drama being a marriage breaker and how you live be each other less because of this.  You sound super immature [/quote]

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