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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As I read this thread, it saddens me -- I am dying of cancer after 25 years of marriage.  My wife might remarry.  I don't know.  We have produced a beautiful and intelligent teen daughter.

So there are people that think that, if my wife remarries, she should be buried with someone else?  [b]Or people that do not grasp that there should be no jealousy towards a dead person?[/b]

I mean, I am the one who loses.  I will not see my daughter graduate from high school.  At this point, it is not clear if I will even live to see a total solar eclipse (big deal for me).  I am not sure if I will make it three more months.  (I will end treatment in early August if my situation does not improve; that is when the next scans are).

We bought two plots.  I guess that was a waste of money.

[/quote]

No jealousy toward a dead person is a nice thought, but in reality it doesn't always work that way.  My BIL died in a tragic accident.  His widow grieved for five years, and then remarried.  Her new spouse convinced her to move on by cutting out BIL's family.  Two years later her 2nd marriage implodes because he could not handle her continuing to grieve, (even privately on anniversaries and such).  2nd spouses absolutely can and do become jealous of the deceased spouse.  My former SIL plans on being buried with my BIL, even though she has one child with the 2nd spouse. [/quote]

I don't think jealousy is the word in your in-laws case.

No one wants to deal with a person carrying on and grieving over ANYTHING--much less a situation from the past. Crying over the time you were stood up for prom years after the fact will turn off/annoy a spouse.

I think SIL should've gotten grief counseling. Her grief is not healthy.[/quote]

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