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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What if you dropped the cleaning lady and your wife added some more part time hours? Would that help with finances?

[b]It really makes a difference for middle and high school kids to have a parent home in the afternoon for a lot of reasons, so that is another aspect to keep in mind.[/b]
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Please take this to heart. It is true and very important [/quote]

I have two kids out of college and on their own. Two in college. One high school senior.  It is really important to have a parent home in the afternoons and evenings when you have teens.  I know not everyone can do it.  But if you can, it really matters. If I had to choose, I would work during the elementary grades and stay at home during middle and high school. I'm grateful that I was able to be at home. [/quote]

What do you have of importance to do now?  It sounds nice in some ways, but giving up a professional life is a high price to pay.  We hire an afternoon sitter/driver for our teen and tween.[/quote]

A driver or an afternoon sitter was not what we wanted for our teens. We wanted a parent home in the afternoons. A sitter isn't the same as a parent. The teen years can be tough. I've seen too many really bad outcomes. We managed to raise five children without any drug or alcohol issues, pregnancy scares, bad grades, etc. I believe having a parent at home helped.

What "do I have of importance now"?  I'm actually not sure what that means. I still work part time and I love my work. My DH and I are 50. He retires at 55. We have a wonderful life together. We travel a lot to see our kids. We have a brand new grandbaby. We sail to the Bahamas every year. We are excited about doing more traveling when my DH retires. We are both involved in our church. We are active in our community.  We have a large garden and grow much of our own food. We both enjoy our paid work, but it has never been what defines either one of us.  If work is the thing that gives you your greatest sense of purpose, you may be in for some tough times when you retire. [/quote]

What is your HHI?[/quote]

They don't live in Dc.

Their bar for success is ridiculously low: avoid drugs alcohol, pregnancy, and flunking out.  This is not DC. I would guess there was alcohol but kids were discrete.  I know MANY working parents who achieved same outcomes. But in lower income areas it is much harder. 
Grand'baby' at 50 - crazy young and who says grandbaby: southerners 
Traveling to see kids means driving to Atlanta
Sailing to Bahamas? From Annapolis -- no.

They live FL or GA I think. [/quote]

Yep. And if you need to not work to keep your teens from having a drug problem or flunking out you've failed. End of story. If you are prepping kids for  college and independence and they need mommy babysitting them that's a huge red flag of issues down the road.

I'm all for women staying home when kids are in school but admit it is for you not the kid, unless both parents don't have any flexibility which is rare in my circle at least.

At least volunteer or do something out of the house aside from coddle your teen. Or you will be the parents calling 25 year old Larla's boss complaining her year end review hurt her feelings and she doesn't feel valued. [/quote]

Haha! I have four college grads. You shouldn't make assumptions. When you can say the same, I might take your opinion more seriously. [/quote]

Nope, you are the ones making assumptions. I have no doubt it was different years ago when you were raising your teens, but for moms raising kids now, I can't fathom having them home every day after school. I have 2 - maybe it is different because we are in private with a lot of activities at the school and a big sports program, but every day after school they are busy with sports and activities, study groups, etc, until around 5:30. With telecommuting options, if they WERE home, DH and I are WFH between the two of us typically 3 days a week anyway, but like I said, my kids are involved in their activities. And we go to many of their games, as do many of the parents, most who work.

Great that your kids are launched and doing fine, but I would feel like a failure if I felt that by the time they were teens they needed a parent not in the workforce to keep them from pregnancy or drug addiction. Ridiculous!
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Agreed, my kids are in middle school and there are tons of clubs and activities after school so they usually take the late bus home (leaves school at 4:30). By the time they get home one of us is pulling in the driveway...[/quote]

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