Reply to How can I get DW to work more?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That's tough, OP.

Do you regularly have meetings where you talk about goals? If so, that would be an ideal time to bring it up. Even if you don't, try scheduling one. Talk about the freedoms a higher income would provide. Retirement, college, emergency savings,  fun money.

What does she do now that she wouldn't be able to do if she worked more? Would outsourcing housework help? Would setting up a recurring ladies' night help her feel like she will be able to remain social?
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Let's be honest. If she goes from SAHM to full time WOHM she will no longer be in that friendship circle. They hang out almost daily, their schedules won't mesh, her social life will be curtailed. But the family has needs that need to be met so she should step up. [/quote]

This. I had a sister who was living this life right down to the dear in the headlights in regards to finances but my BIL really couldn't afford it so he finally reached his breaking point and started telling her almost every day that they were not rich, that she wasn't like her friends, and that the he was going to have to cut off her credit card. She didn't believe him and they had massive arguments.  He finally just closed the cc account and kept the joint account with enough to cover bills. My sister freaked out one day when she went to the ATM with her friends only to discover she couldn't get even $20 out because the account had $10.  She sent out some massive text to all our family and her DH's about how terrible he was and how he was depriving the kids, blah, blah, blah and his only reply was something snarky about my sister not being able to purchase her lattes. She took the kids (8 and 10 at the time) and went to one of her SIL's houses for a few days and told her DH that she was getting a divorce.  Don't know all the ins and outs but a couple years later they have moved to a different community and my sister works close to full time in a medical office doing admin work.   They live on the west coast btw where the cost of living is just as high as it is here.[/quote]

I have another sister story. Similar facts, but my ex-BIL left her the minute the youngest was in college. It was crazy. She only got 5 years of alimony (to re-train at 52) and was completely shell shocked, but he was fairly open even in front of in-laws that he wanted my sister to work, didn't like being a sole breadwinner, and that this was a big issue in their marriage. Even I knew it. My sister just sort of laughed it off and like PPs had a social group and life with hobbies she didn't want to quit.  [/quote]

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