Reply to D14 Deleting My FB Posts

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[quote=Anonymous]For a teenager, a proud parent can be mortifying. We can use that to our advantage or we can use it to make them know who has the power in the house. Our standing household rule is everyone has the right not to have pictures shown of them. I can adore a picture of my daughter, but it doesn't mean I get to put it on facebook. Because we respect each other, she knows if I say "I love this picture and I want a picture of it in my photo album" that's as far as it will go. And she knows when I die, she gets the photo albums and can remove any picture she thinks is awful. Of course, she's also seen the photos our parents have of us, and finds them hysterical.

My daughter is fine with me bragging about her using text. Although, she thinks facebook posts talking about honor roll or awards are kind of dumb. If she preferred I not discuss her on social media - which is a reasonable request - I'd just have to call up the grandparents and brag on the phone. Woe is me. It is not my daughter's duty to make me feel good about myself, and on some level that's what bragging about her on social media is about. "I have this awesome kid."

This is important to me because I don't want my daughter to be pressured into taking pictures by anyone else, so I'm not setting the groundwork that it's acceptable to pressure someone to take pictures. I don't want my daughter to be pressured into having a particular social media presence, so I'm not setting the groundwork that it's ok to put someone's information on social media. I want my daughter to be able to establish boundaries with anyone, and hold them firm. Too often we give girls the message that their boundaries are not to be respected, that they do not have the right to their opinions, feelings, or their body.

What does not posting your daughter's photo cost you? Nothing but a little bragging rights among friends/family. What does not posting your daughter's photo gain you? Your daughter's trust.

Seems like a no brainer to me.

Your daughter should not delete your facebook posts. She shouldn't have to. You should respect her enough to honor her requests regarding her photo. Her compromise is letting you have photos of and with her, you need to use them appropriately. They are personal, for you. Not for anyone else.[/quote]

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