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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, are you from a different culture or a very patriarchal religious culture? Because the questions you're asking are odd ones.

As you say, what's done is done, and you need to deal with it, but not once have you seemed angry at your husband for concealing this affair/child and taking your son to meet her over and over. Then you say he told your son it wasn't a secret, which suggests that he thinks this whole situation is no big deal, and, frankly, it sounds like your goal is to feel like that, too.

This reaction only makes sense in the context of a culture where women have little to no say in the direction of family life.[/quote]

I'm not from a patriarchal culture, no.  I am a full partner in my family, and if anything, I am more of a boss than DH is.  I make my decisions independently.

I'm of course very angry at DH for what he did, and especially for involving my son, but that was not the focus of this discussion so didn't see much point in it.  It's perfectly normal and natural to have anger, and I do, but anger should not make decisions for you.  These are important matters, where little kids and the trajectory of their lives is concerned; anger has no place in deciding how the rest of the story goes.  DH and I are dealing with the anger separately as adults.  Kids have nothing to do with this. [/quote]

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