Reply to Is DH trying to keep me down, or is he being reasonable?

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Reply to "Is DH trying to keep me down, or is he being reasonable?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
The flip side is that you are saying that wearing pink is somehow the definition of "feminine."  I disagree with that.

It's great that you liked dolls and rockets.  The reality is the main form of attention a lot of little girls get is around their looks, how pretty they are.  There's a huge focus on being pretty and on what they wear.  That has a negative effect, even on girls who like rockets as a kid, because it causes them over time to see their most important features (or the things other most define them by) as being tied to their appearance.

You're entire argument assumes it's already settled what the definition of feminine is, what is "girl" stuff and what is "boy" stuff.

Perhaps OP's husband is going to far in the other direction, but I actually think he's wise not to focus on "pretty" with his daughter.  OP admitted he is loving toward her.[/quote]
Would you feel better if I had worded my entire post using the phrasing "traditionally feminine" and "traditionally masculine".  [Aside: Feminine=/=female and masculine=/=male, people are a mix of both characteristics.]  My point is that people are not entirely one thing or the other...and I do see a strong tendency to undervalue what's traditionally "girl stuff".  Obviously I don't ascribe to the view about what girls and boys are allowed to like...but, yes, I do think there is very strong cultural messaging that things like "pink" and "dolls" are girl things and "rockets" are boy things.  My very existence challenges that notion, but it doesn't change the predominant cultural views.

And I agree that it's good not to focus too much on *any* child's looks...but that wasn't the part I was referring to as should have been pretty clear from my post.  The OP also said her DH dismisses things like dolls and pink as being silly.  I strongly disagree with that as devaluing things that have traditionally been viewed as "girly" or, yes, "feminine".[/quote]

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