Reply to Men, do you think your wife is hot?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honest question: Is the only answe people with accept for OP's question "yes"? The only person to answer "no" got attacked for it (and it looks like his original post may actually have been deleted.)  What if the answer is actually a no?
[/quote]

No, there are acceptable answers of "no."  If the answer is "no" but you show you love her anyways and don't judge her, then it's fine.  However, the one guy who answered "no" very clearly showed no support for his wife when she fished for compliments.  Instead of finding something to compliment, he just avoided answering.  That's unsupportive.

In my case, my answer is "no" but I tell her about the the things I love about her, and show her I still love her.  And frankly, I'm not as hot as I was when we met either.  We're a good matched set and happily still in love.[/quote]

I'm the guy who answered "no". Although I love and support my wife, I do not support her unattractive post-marriage weight gain.
( I would support her efforts to LOSE the weight, but that wasn't the question ).
So it would be dishonest of me to compliment her appearance which is (objectively) not hot.
And it would be mean of me to directly tell her this. She already knows it anyways. Every woman who's gained significant weight knows this is the opposite of hot. [b]Saying nothing is therefore the nicest possible response to this question.[/b]
[/quote]

I disagree with you here.  Even if you don't find the heavier body attractive, you can still find things about the person that is attractive.  If you can't, then you are particularly shallow.  My wife and I have both had our weight go up and down over the years.  She has had some particularly large weight swings when she was on medication that caused significant weight gain.  But I still remembered the things that made us work.  I still found her attractive in other ways.  If my wife wanted to know if she was still attractive to me, I could easily answer that yes, she was still my princess and that I still loved the way she made me feel.  Even if the weight wasn't particularly attractive to her, I could still say that she still makes my heart flutter and I am still attracted to her even if I am attracted to things about her other than the physical side.  I am still attracted to the person who takes care of me and my children.  I am still attracted to the person who puts so much effort into making our house a home.  I am still attracted to the person who makes me feel like a king in my home.  All of this is true.

I find ways to compliment her and tell her how she is attractive to me without addressing whether her body is currently hot or not.  The physical side is only one facet of the person who I want to share my life with.  If the physical side is the only thing that makes her attractive to you, then your marriage will not survive.  Both of you will age and in some cases, not age gracefully.  You need more than just lust to make for a long marriage.  If you can't find a way to compliment your wife without thinking about the physical beauty then you have a rather hollow relationship.[/quote]

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