Reply to how could I have handled this better -- found self in argument with both DS, 3 and DH

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm not sure op is a reliable narrator, and I find myself questioning how accurately she's reporting the arm touch incident.  It sounds too odd to be real. [/quote]

I agree. OP stated that she objected to her husband's taking over the back rub.  It sounded to me like she was grabbing his wrist as a way of stopping it. If so, even if she wasn't aggressive about it, this is t a matter of a bad reaction to a simple touch; it's that she's trying to get her husband not to comfort their son (which is bizarre) and is doing so with touch.

The thread title is off-putting. We don't fight with 3-year-old children. Or puppies. Or rain clouds. The fact that you're seeing your son as someone who can be in a fight with you says you either don't understand child development or you don't understand what it means to be the adult in the room.

You can ask your son to use kinder words but you can't force him to prefer your touch and you most certainly can't deny him his father's comforting touch. Comport is not a privilege not a reward. It's a need. You seem more concerned with your ego and your son's preferences than his needs.

I don't like the way your husband spoke to you. In a vacuum, this would be unacceptable. However, your post indicates that you are a challenging person to coparenr with and your husband is rightly frustrated. He's got a wife who is absorbed in her own needs and acting like a child. He's trying to comfort a three-year-old and being second-guessed for it.

My strong suspicion is, that wasn't the first time you've lost it at them either.

Go to counseling by yourself and with your husband. Get some perspective. And in the meantime don't act so needy with your kid. He's a baby. Be a grown woman. [/quote]

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