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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "I am currently being distant to wife"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel your pain brother. When I'm not having regular sex or if my wife withdraws from the relationship physically I don't feel connected . I feel like roommates except that I'm being robbed from being with someone who wants to have sex with me. I shutdown when that component is missing from my relationship as I will feel neglected. We've been to therapy about this. Therapist said that's just the way I am, I won't change. I know she's hoping that when I get older the libido will die down a bit. But when that happens then what. I would have felt so neglected and so much resentment that it's not worth it. I am an active person, very athletic and competitive so I have a high libido. I remember my wife complaining to the therapist about it. Therapist - who was a women - said people like me usually have high libidos. That's not going to change anytime soon. She told my wife you better find a way to rekindle or it won't work. For me, it's to stop being so walled off. So we both have issues but my resentment stems from lack of sex. I feel robbed frankly. So I understand how you feel OP [/quote] So, your wife's feelings and needs do not matter? You have to have sex no matter what? I think you are selfish and despite your therapist being a woman I would have wanted another one that wasn't so biased.[/quote] I don't get this. What do you think is supposed to happen when you get married? If I wanted to just be friends, I wouldn't have gotten married. Sex is a big part of what makes marriages or romantic relationships different than platonic ones. Right? That's the definition. So why do you, as a woman, think it's totally ok to quit having sex? Maybe a better question is WHY would you quit having sex? Do you women who have no interest in sex really feel connected to your husbands? [/quote]
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