Reply to When did you realize you didn't like your mom (or dad)?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I love my parents. They're good people, generous and kind. They've taught my brother and I good values that would benefit us throughout life.

Unfortunately, I don't like being around my mom, who's the worst kind of micromanager and a nit-picking perfectionist. The realization started dawning around my 20s, but it was manageable b/c I lived far away. Now that mom lives close, our daily interactions really magnify our dysfunctional dynamic. I'm in my 40s and still being parented on every little thing. It's exhausting. [/quote]

I think that sometimes, people feel like they lose purpose. I don't know you or your mom, so this is just a wild guess, but as a new father (I just had a daughter who is 4 months), I now feel this whole new sense of purpose that I never thought possible.

I do fear however (already, I know!), that when she grows older and independent one day, and doesn't need me anymore, what will happen to that sense of purpose?

Will I try to inject myself into her life, or just diminish into irrelevance?

Maybe your mom is going through the same, or maybe she has always been this way.

I don't know. I am also the PP who spoke about losing his father to cancer, so I also have the perspective that there isn't always a lot of time left.

If you love them, find a way to focus on the good things and not on the things that bug you.[/quote]

This is wise advice, thank you! I should try harder to look for the best in my mom, who is becoming frail.[/quote]

I don't know if you read my earlier post - it seems this whole thread got derailed.

But, my father was the picture of health. Never even took a sick day that I can remember. Honestly, I really thought that I had so much more time to make him proud of me, to have a relationship with him. Then, cancer. He passed 6 months later. I can't get over how stupid I was for wasting so much time. It is the worst feeling ever. It seems cliché, but once it happens, you feel like an idiot for not listening to every other person who has been in the situation.[/quote]

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