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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I guess another way to ask is do you have regret when the child reaches bar mitzvah or are you 100% in on the decision?  Did you ever doubt the decision at any point along the way?  Do they ever question why you are taking them to classes and teaching something but you don't have the same beliefs?  When they are younger, do they wonder if you are teaching them this faith and it is right for them, why you don't convert?[/quote]

OP, are you the mom? Are you practicing?

Jewish or Christian, doesn't the faith of the children usually follow mom's faith?  As a mother I would not want that separation between my faith and tradition and my children's faith training and traditions.

If you are asking these questions, it sounds as if you have connections to your faith and faith traditions and are not on board with raising your hypothetical children in another faith.[/quote]

I am heading towards marriage and I really would like to hear what it is like for Christian moms that are raising jewish kids.  [/quote]

Would you be willing to convert? 
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No I don't want to convert and I am not being asked to convert. I am just being asked if I would be willing[b] to have our future children raised Jewish[/b].  [/quote]

I would dig deeper - what does "have our future children raised Jewish" mean?

Who will do what is necessary for the children to be raised as Jewish?

What will your role, as the non-Jewish parent, be?  What will it not be?

Super-important questions.[/quote]

Yes, and does it mean that you can't teach any of your own traditions, like Christmas?  I am secular but I would not have been ok with never having Christmas. [/quote]

You need to be aware that many Jewish people are not comfortable with having  non-Jewish symbols -such as as Christmas trees- in the house. You as a non-Jew, might be open to adopting Jewish traditions and RAISING YOUR CHILDREN JEWISH. This might mean that you will not be allowed to share your non-Jewish customs with your children - such as Christmas. Even Jews who are not particularly religious can be quite rigid about what it means to be Jewish. Just read this this forum around Christmas time! 
Children are born to two parents of two different backgrounds. Why should one parent's heritage have to be cast out of the house?  Not reasonable in my opinion. For those people who feel religion is very important they should marry someone who shares their beliefs and background. Even in this case there will have to be compromises - I am sure that same-faith couples don't agree on every aspect of their religion. 
More questions for the OP: are you planning to go to church alone?  What does Christianity mean to you?? Can you really be a Christian in a Jewish household - your own Jewish household??! 
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There is also the cultural part that you cannot give your child being a different religion.  Its not just the religion.  [/quote]

And Jewish people are not open and accepting of others in that way. Two people with different backgrounds could get married and share their "culture" but Jewish people can not. They will not tolerate your Christmas tree. They feel they are the "chosen" ones. They will always help out a Jewish person before a non Jew. If you question this they will call you anti-Semetic.  [/quote]

You do not understand because you're not a minority religion in a Christian society. [/quote]

Jews are not monolithic (see the threads around xmas time).  I am one of the PPs who converted to Judaism- I grew up largely secular but did celebrate Christmas at home.  It was easy for me to give up. As we have a Jewish home, we do not do Christmas at all in our house- no tree, wreath, santa, whatever.  Honestly, I do think that's part of the minority experience-- every December, my kids understand what it is like to be in the minority and to have all this celebration all around them that does not really include our holiday. What it's like to go to the store and the Hannukah section has one shelf and the rest of the store is Christmas.  Why is the menorah on display half the size of the Christmas tree.  I am also a racial minority, so it is easy for me to accept this (this is my lived experience) but I can see how it would be difficult for the average white Christian woman to accept.  Although we are Reform, we do many of the Jewish holidays at home (not just Hannukah), including Sukkot, Purim, Passover, high holidays; we do shabbat every Friday night.  Kids go to Sunday School. So for my kids, being Jewish doesn't mean "not celebrating Christmas."  We have our own traditions and holidays.

However, it's not like all interfaith and/or cross-cultural relationships are the same.  I know families where the mom converted, considers their home to be a Jewish home, and still have a tree because that's how she grew up.   I agree that before you get married you should discuss and "negotiate" holidays and religious upbringing.  If husband wants kids to be Jewish and you are not going to convert, he has to be the laboring oar- figure out joining a synagouge, sign up for religious school, do the holidays, etc.  If you also want to have a Christmas tree to honor your family's traditions, I would discuss that now.

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