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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "DH and I constantly fighting over child care - how do you do it?"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you and your emotional makeup are perfectly normal. In fact, I wonder if we're married to the same guy! We have a "schedule" too...we alternate mornings of waking up with DD (almost 1), and the person who does wakeup also takes her to and from daycare. When DH "has" her, I go to the gym and enjoy a half hour at home to read the paper (usually Sunday's all week) before work. When I "have" her, he bikes to and from work, so we each get exercise every other day. This translates into weekend activities, too, but I share your bitterness there. When I go to the gym on weekends, I take her with me and use the babysitting there, giving him free time, whereas his rides mean that I'm "on." (Needless to say, we love DD more than anything under the sun -- I know you feel the same way -- but the workplace terminology just seems to best convey what I mean. Spending time with her is an absolute pleasure. Spending time by myself helps me be a better-rounded human being and parent.) We also have close to a 60-40 split in implementation of child-related activities, but I do almost all of the planning, whether it's buying diapers, preparing food, scheduling doctors appts, or just saying that we should go to the park today, for example. This drives me crazy because I feel like he doesn't value this "work" (labor of love though it is) and bills himself as an equal parent. Our work schedules are roughly equivalent, though his hours are more flexible, and he has more vacation time. We have other issues in our marriage and have tried counseling, but there's simply no time for it now. I just wanted to offer you some solidarity and reassurance that you can love your child, love or like or tolerate your partner, and still want some time to yourself and a fair division of duties at home![/quote]
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