Reply to Is this ridiculous? DH and I disagree over whether to have another child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I REALLY want another child. Like, I know I will be disappointed for a very long time if I can't have one. It may be biologically driven as I'm 36 and the door is closing soon, so to speak. DH really does not want another child. I feel so sad about this and can't stop hoping that maybe I'll be able to change his mind (fwiw, we can afford it, it's not a financial thing).

Does it matter how many kids we already have? The people in my life - my mom, sisters, BFF, etc. - are not especially sympathetic because we have three and they tell me that should be "sufficient." I love them dearly but it doesn't change the fact that I feel someone is missing from our family, kwim?[/quote]

You can feel sad and hope to change his mind.  But don't go over his head.

Does it matter how may kids you have?  Um..yes?  This is the question that makes you sound cray cray.
[/quote]

Obv it matters. What I mean is, why is my yearning for a fourth child less deserving of sympathy and validation than someone who wants a second? (Not talking about infertility, just husbands who refuse).[/quote]

it's less deserving of sympathy bc you already have 3 beautiful children to love. those kids already have more than one sibling. i think you should consider counseling with or without your DH. I think kids are wonderful too, but your DH has a veto here. it's very unfair to your future child to bring him/her into a world where her father may resent him/her or not pay enough attention to him/her. it also could be very tough on your marriage and ultimately harm your current kids if it leads to a strained marriage or split. i think either decision you and your DH make is going to leave someone unhappy and may be best worked out with a good therapist.[/quote]

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