Reply to Is this ridiculous? DH and I disagree over whether to have another child

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Reply to "Is this ridiculous? DH and I disagree over whether to have another child"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Um the gain of another person to love? Another person to round out our family who will be our children's sibling for the rest of their lives? I don't look at it in financial terms, I think that is silly. I don't look at our existing children and add up what they cost us.

I'm not postponing returning to work. That has nothing to do with this. It's a separate issue but he doesn't really want me to work anyway (work travel).[/quote]

But what you are doing is postponing when he can retire.  Maybe if you commit to going back to work and fully supporting you two and your youngest child through her middle and high school years so that he has the option to retire when she leaves grade school.  Tell him that you'll support the family so that he can retire on his own schedule and that in your youngest's middle and high school years, you'll do what it takes to allow him more freedom to pursue other activities.

You are completely discounting the fact that he wants to be done with dependent parenting in 12 years and not 18.  I think the only realistic way to convince him otherwise, is if you make the commitment now that you will assume the financial and parental responsibilities for a new child after the 3rd goes to college.  That may mean you have to work and juggle work and errands and shutting the child to after school commitments, etc largely on your own.  Because that time is what you're trying to take away from him.  How will you feel when you are working full time, doing all the household errands, shuttling your child around and he is retired and playing golf or going out of town with the guys or taking up a new hobby?  That's the type of commitment you need to make to convince him.  Otherwise, you are just putting your own wants ahead of his.  This is why most people say that the No always beats the Yes vote.  Because you don't get to commit another person to the extra years and work of raising a child.  And despite your hand waiving, there is still a lot of parenting that goes on from ages 4.5 to 17.[/quote]

You and so many of the posters on this thread are so hung up on the fact that OP is a SAHM that you're ignoring the fact that it's not a financial issue for their family. They have enough money to support another child - the DH just doesn't want more children. That's a much harder issue to address. If it was just about money, the easy solution would be for OP to go back to work.

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