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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a person who has worked with survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence, without knowing the girl's history, what I can say is that a response like this would be a red flag for me that she has a history of abuse. That this experience was triggering for her (I know y'all hate that word here, but this kind of thing is what the word is intended to describe, not getting upset because you read a book). That her roommate and RA were responding to the level of stress she was experiencing as a result of this experience, rather than the nuts and bolts of what happened.

The OP mentioned that these two individuals had known each other for - at most - 2 months when all this happened. For a survivor, that is almost certainly not enough time to build up a sufficient level of trust for this kid to even be given the benefit of the doubt. A survivor waking up to someone doing sexual things to her is not going to respond the same way that someone who has never experienced sexual abuse is going to respond - not with a new boyfriend, anyway. 2 months is probably not even long enough for her to trust him enough to disclose the abuse she experienced. A lot of survivors never disclose.

I get that you are all really concerned for the boy and what the rest of HIS life will look like as a result of this situation, but I would encourage you to give the girl the benefit of the doubt as well. [b]It's possible that she got worked up over "nothing" but it's equally possible that she has a history of abuse that made this experience very different for her than you guys think it is.[/b][/quote]

That's all well and good, but what was essentially a well-intentioned but miguided move on his part can now literally ruin the rest of his life based on the girl's reaction.   As the mother of both a boy and a girl, I find this horrifying.[/quote]

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