Reply to What do you think of leaving a 2-3 month old behind so you can travel?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with others that you sound incredibly selfish. 2-3 months is too young and putting too much on the grandparents. I'd have a different opinion if the baby would be 6 months and older, but 2-3 months just isn't the right time. [/quote]

totally disagree.  [b]at 2-3 months the baby is barely conscious[/b] and really has little idea who is taking care of him/her as long as they are loving.  If OP is confident in the grandparents caregiving there is absolutely no reason she shouldn't do this.  [/quote]

Oh FFS.  The bolded is SO untrue.  Freaking newborns can discern the difference between their mothers and other people, and you think a three month old is barely conscious?!  SMH.

This favorite DCUM notion that young infants can't tell who takes care of them is such garbage.[/quote]

Right, and I bet you think it's child abuse to go back to work at 3 months, too.

Guess what -- I'm a mother, and in my actual experience, it's much rougher to leave a child when they are at an age to actually notice you are gone and really miss you (18 months or so) than an infant.  If OP feels like a few days' break is going to be helpful for her and her family, and that she has good childcare, it's totally fine.  It does sound like OP is just exhausted and needs time to herself in general -- not sure if a vacation will do the trick, but it doesn't hurt for her to start thinking about how she can get her sense of self back.  There is NOTHING selfish about a mom of three small kids doing the things she needs to do to keep herself mentally and spiritually healthy.  In fact what is selfish is to ignore her own needs, because that is precisely what will interfere with good parenting.  [/quote]

Guess what?  I'm a mother, too.  Of three: five years, three years, and six months.  And I work.  So, yeah, I get it that most women in this country have to go back to work absurdly early in their children's lives.  Abusive, no, not unless the care situation is really awful.  But ideal?  Hardly.  Why do you think every other developed country in this world grants lengthy, paid maternity leave?  Also, in my experience, I can TALK to my older kids about my absence.  We discuss that it's hard and talk about how we can manage it.  They're old enough to have some emotion regulation strategies that aren't all about my immediate presence.  They don't NEED me at five the way they do at two (they still need me, just differently).

And, [b]yes, self-care is a critical and often overlooked aspect of parenting.  But I don't think that translates to "do whatever you want, whenever you want," as you seem to.  Take a night off?  Sure.  Hire help?  Go for it.  Exercise?  You betcha.  Five days vacation away from your two month old?  Nope.  I stand by what I said.  Infants are plenty conscious, and just because they can't verbalize that they miss their parents, doesn't mean their absence isn't noticed (or important)[/b].[/quote]

+1M

OP, if this is how you feel, WHY did you get pregnant again?  Why?[/quote]

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