Reply to Are you offended when someone says they “didnt want someone else to raise my kids”?

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Reply to "Are you offended when someone says they “didnt want someone else to raise my kids”?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I always hate the SAHM and WOHM debates because in my circles living in multiple places, I've had a good mix of friends. I've also been both a SAHM (7 years) and a WOHM (now divorced). For me the big debate is whether people are judgmental v nonjudgmental and if they can handle the fact that people are free to make choices that best suit their families. [/quote]

Saying that someone isn't raising their kids because they have a job isn't true, and is rude to boot.[/quote]

You are twisting the words. [b]If someone said they stay home because they didn’t want someone else to raise their kids, that doesn’t mean a person with a job isn’t raising their kids. [/b]I can’t imagine a scenario where someone would so rudely say that to a working mother because it is rude to say. I say this as a sahm who used to be a working mom and will probably one day again be a working mom.[/quote]

Um, that's exactly what it implies. Otherwise you wouldn't have to stay at home in order to raise your kids...[/quote]
It should not be said but can you concede that there might be an instance of it not being meant as an insult. The speaker may be reflecting on raising as spending time with while not intending to imply others are not raising their kids.
One person is equating it to spending time with, playing games, running errands more than if they didn't stay home.
One person is latching onto the insult and using it to twist the knife so you'll feel bad. They are being defensive or just mean.[/quote]

I'm the PP and no, this is insulting every time it is said. By saying you stayed home in order to raise your kids you are saying that parents that don't stay home aren't raising their kids.

You can say you wanted to spend more time with your kids, of course. I don't have a problem with whether women choose to work or stay home but I do have a problem with people making rude comments about their "choice" and then playing dumb about how they didn't MEAN to be rude (except they did, because if you asked them they would say they fundamentally disagree with the other person's choice). [/quote]

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