Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have never understood the emotional and intellectual circumstances that compel someone to have sex with someone who is not their significant other. The part I particularly don't understand is that they obviously know that sex outside of their relationship is not ok. They know it would mean the death of their relationship or in the least create significant problems for the foreseeable future. They know the lying and sneaking and betrayal will crush and devastated their partner.

Then...why do they do it? If they are out of love with their significant other, why do they not just end the relationship or take steps to do it? Then they can freely go and find someone else.

[/quote]

If you’ve never experienced it, you can never understand. If you are out of love with your spouse, but have kid, house, friends, everything joined together, it’s not that easy to walk away. Divorce is scary and many people are trapped because they have no support. They have to stay married. Then someone walks into your life and suddenly you experience what you haven’t felt in so so long. It’s maddening and yes, you ultimately decide if you give in, but the pull is so strong, especially if they reciprocate the feelings. I have been fortunate and even though I badly wanted to, i only created my romances inside my head. I suffered tremendously, and these unfulfilled desires have caused me my mental health. I’ve been depressed for many years now, not feeling like anything is worth, just stuck in my life.[/quote]

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