Reply to Are you offended when someone says they “didnt want someone else to raise my kids”?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Please I beg of you:

[b]Could we stop talking about staying home versus working as a "choice" that all wome make?[/b]

It's not except for a tiny sliver of very privileged women who truly can work or stay home with no financial or personal repercussions either way. For everyone else the scales tend to be heavily weighted one way or another and even when you get to pick there are major trade-offs because you don't have the resources to mitigate the downsides.

THIS is why it's rude to say things that pass judgment on what other women do. Because for most women it's not truly a choice. The majority of us are constrained by economics and earning potential and childcare availability and the nature of our marriages and the support systems we have in place (and not you cannot just "choose" to have a great support system -- some people have supportive families and communities and others don't due to circumstance not choice).

So yes please be sensitive when you talk about this issue because a lot of women are doing the very best they can with the options available to them (which are not limitless) and no one needs to be shamed or shaded for working OR staying home.

If women could just have empathy towards each other we would all be so much better off.[/quote]

+1000

I'm a working mom who would love to SAHM, but we can't afford it.  And by that I mean my income helps pay for our mortgage, groceries, and health insurance, not OMG if I quit we'd have to stop traveling to Eurpoe every summer and drive Toyotas and pull the kids out of their travel sports.

I had no idea I'd feel this way until I actually became a mother, so "willing and able to be the sole provider" wasn't something I filtered for while dating.  Yes, I wish I had more time to spend with my children, even though I still consider myself (and my working spouse) to be raising them.   [/quote]

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