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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I turned18 in October of my my senior year of high school, 19 as I began my first year of college. I was off-age at the time, 20+ years ago. I remember every birthday as being " why are you an entire year older than us?" Yay for birthdays.

I was held back by my mother, who was anxious and projected her problems on me, and against recommendations of the school. I had an exceptionally high IQ, undiagnosed ADHD (as in, not diagnosed until I was middle-aged, since ADHD didn't exist for smart girls in the 70s/80s), and trauma and social problems from being raised by my mentally ill mother.

So, I do get touchy about this subject. Some of you moms out there  who are hell-bent on this idea might be like my mom. Personality disordered with no empathy for child, only concerned with the social/status implications of your child doing well. Maybe you think your child looks good next to kids in the grade younger. Maybe all that matters is that your child does competitively well, next to kids who aren't the appropriate competition. You don't realize kids know the birthdays/ages very well. They are obsessed with those details.

I would have been both smarter and more socially awkward no matter what age group. I became socially competent and even successful by middle/high school, but still had to deal with the insecurity of being assumed weird for being a year older.

I don't care anymore. It's not my fight. I was damaged by mentally ill mother who held me back. Your experiences may vary.[/quote]

I don’t know how old you are now and what was the cutoff where you grew up. My middle child has an end of October birthday, she is not redshirted and she is nowhere close to be one of the oldest in her private school 1st grade class. I know of few kids with July/august (redshirted), September, October birthdays in her class. I doubt she will be soooo traumatized from not being the youngest in her class. She is quite happy and a leader.

My eldest was redshirted and was born at the end of August (5 days before the cutoff). She is also never the oldest in the class, is happy, well adjusted, nobody is ever mentioned anything about her being redshirted, etc.

I come from a different country with 5 years of high school (I was 19 when I graduated high school as were half of my class mates). I came to college in the US where I was usually a year older than everyone else. I never cared, nobody ever mentioned it. It was absolutely a non-issue.[b]

I am sure you had a bad mom, but I doubt your issues come from being older than your peers.[/quote][/b]

This. You clearly have a bad childhood, and social deficits, and I’m sorry for that. But acting like it all has to do with when you started school is probably not serving you.

In addition, your experience (at a public?)  school 20 years ago has nothing to do with current parents’’ decisions regarding private schools today. Redshirting is nearly universal at many of them, and believe me, the other kids don’t blink an eye. [/quote]

Maybe only at rich kid privates.  We have done both public and private with a younger child.

You will find every excuse not to take responsibility for your actions or choices.  Sad you didn't get your child help when you decided they were delayed.[/quote]

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