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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The toxic exists in everybody’s mind, if there is any of them.
You can enjoy study without considering winning competition. 
Some other kids enjoys competition and decide to work hard. There is nothing wrong with it. No toxic.
Toxic comes when you think those diligent kids takes your opportunities away. Toxic is in your mind.

[/quote]

Go ahead and tell yourself that, but one day you may be honest with yourself.[/quote]

PP was right that there’s a lot of projection. Resentful parents call other parents/kids “toxic” because they want their own kids to be on top without working as hard.  [/quote]

Or they fear for our (collective) children’s mental health.  I’m perfectly fine with my kid not being at the top because they are older now and I’ve seen the toll this sort of approach has on many kids.  My own kid has gotten therapy and is in a much better place (although admittedly, we recently got a crisis phone call about a B+ in a college class).  Take whatever approach you want, but do it at your peril.  My kid is out of high school now and not competing with yours so it does not impact me except in the sense of watching the collective mental health decline.[/quote]

When you think you've projected as much as possible, be sure and project some more.   It can't be your parenting or your kid's particular mental attitude that is at issue; it has to be a "collective" issue that can only be addressed by discriminating against Asian families while invoking the "greater good."[/quote]

Ok.  Seriously?  Let’s talk about projecting!!  You have got to be kidding me.  I’m not talking about only my kid. I’ve seen this with many kids and I think there are plenty Of articles and stats that bear it out. The perfectionism, nothing is good enough thing hurts most kids.  Including the kid (non-Asian, if that matters to you) that killed herself at my kid’s school this year.  This is a huge problem that transcends TJ and race.

I get it. You are narrow minded and your way is the only way.  If anyone questions you, it must be fear and discrimination.  All you care about is your kid and TJ.  Mental health be damned. Go for it.  Maybe ask yourself why this is so important to you.  Could it also be fear?[/quote]

Whitesaviourism#

Not racist - that implies overt discrimination.  White saviors truly believe they are doing what they are doing because they mean well for the kids. In other words, they know better than the parents how to raise healthy children.  The same attitude was why many indigenous children were removed from their parents’ care.

Lots of literature on the topic.  Google is your friend.  [/quote]

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