Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

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Reply to "Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So much navel-gazing and armchair therapy around a very simple answer to the OP's question: they do it because it feels good.  Same reason as people take drugs or make other doubtful choices.  It feels good in the moment.  That's all.[/quote]

Obviously but there is much more to it than that. Exercise, eating donuts, wearing makeup, smoking when you’re addicted, looking at pretty architecture, etc. all make you feel good, but [b]the motivations for choosing the action that makes you feel good differ[/b]. I would say that making the choice to remain faithful to your spouse even when it’s hard feels really good too. [/quote]

The implication here is perfectly articulated. Agree, 100%. [/quote]

Cheating is the only one in that list that can cause bodily harm to another unsuspecting spouse's health through disease and infection.

Go look at pretty architecture, smoke (spouse is aware and can isolate you from kids and him/herself to avoid second hand, wear make-up, eat donuts...

BUT stick you d(ck in another human, swallow someone else's giz---and bring your partner herpes, HIV, HPV, etc.

NOT EQUIVALENT AT ALL.[/quote]

Um. No one is disagreeing with you here. That isn’t what is being discussed in the point you’re replying to. Not equivalence, or a false equivalence dear. We all agree that licking, swallowing, sucking and sticking something that is supposed to be private use as a public service is on a completely different level of trifling and dirty, slutty behavior that is unsanitary and just wrong. We also agree that this behavior is not the same as putting a needle of crack in your arms while pregnant and giving birth to a crack baby. We also agree that all things that feel good aren’t free license to partake in without some sort of accountability.

Partners are innocent. Babies born to crackheads were innocent. It was unfair.

What PP mentioned, and what was being highlighted — is the  motivation. The motivation for this “feel good” betrayal. Or motivation for anything really. 
You’re spinning out a bit. I’ve been betrayed too, so I get it, they’re assholes and selfish, rah rah rah — but let’s stay on topic with the discussion.  :lol:

Motivation to be a whore sticking it everywhere, motivation to lie, motivation to betray. That gets to the mindset. There are a zillion reasons. One cheaters motivation is not the same as another’s. Some are aware, some may not even know because they aren’t that self introspective.[/quote]

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