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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So far I think the most interesting thing about this thread is the incredulity that many posters have about the OP and her boyfriend's ability to have genuine feelings for each other.

Y'all have a very romantic, idealized understanding of human affection. I hope that stems from having wonderful marriages, rather than overindulgence in Disney Princess movies.

I do not find it impossible to believe that the OP's boyfriend cares about OP, enjoys spending time with her, and does not mind the transactional part of their relationship. I do not have a hard time believing that there are other aspects to their relationship than sex and money. I also don't find it all that difficult to imagine the OP as being fairly content with her life the way it is right now, or her parents not being very interested in her life, or her not being particularly damaged or having trauma in her past.

People seem to need to believe that anyone who would engage in this sort of behavior is a sociopath who is unable to feel anything for anyone. I just don't think that. I think that it's possible for a man engaged in a multi-year affair to care about his wife, his mistress and his children. I think it's certainly possible for the OP to be fine with her paid-for apartment and her vacations, interested in her boyfriend but not his family, and still understand that showing up to his funeral and making a scene would be cruel to his family and unwilling to engage in that cruelty.

People have a complicated range of emotions. It's not as easy as "sleeps with someone's husband --> never respects anything else ever as long as she lives" or "accepts money for sex --> is automatically a horrible human being with nothing else to offer".[/quote]

I totally agree with this sentiment.  And for those that say boyfriend is just paying for sex and she is a prostitute, I disagree with that as well.  Someone said a few pages ago that he is paying for a relationship that is different from the his marriage, not sex.  I definitely think this is the case.

OP, I had a friend in a similar situation, her guy had wife, kids and the all that goes with that, he was a high powered record producer, mingled with celebrities and lived in LA.  She lived in Atlanta. He put her up in a great apartment, purchased her a new car every year, kept her looking good (and she did look good). He was a big spender.  He would take foot the bill for her and her friends.  I went to a couple of Superbowl games, NBA All-Star games with her.  He kept her in Chanel, Prada, LV, Gucci, Audemars Piguet watches, Cartier jewelry, Hermes bags. She was (still is) gorgeous, she looked the part of the trophy girlfriend to a T.  When we would hang out together, both genders would stare at her beauty.  She did have a child with him, but mainly because her bio clock started ticking and she wanted a baby (after about 4 years into relationship), and she wanted a hold on him. He found her while she was still in high school (17 years old) and he was maybe 33-35 years old. Before meeting him, all us (her friends) definitely imagined some old, fat, hairy guy just out for sex.  But that wasn't it all. He was supremely good looking and so nice.  Not overly arrogant, or self confident, but definitely charming.  He was a great guy. We would have girl nights and he would just show up--treat us all to dinner and drinks and then whisk her away. Never would have known that he was a liar and a cheat from the outside. He hid it very well. Looking back on it, it all seemed so "Sex and the City" like.  We were all young, wild and didn't judge her or him.  Actually I think we were all envious. He wanted her to be able to travel with him, so after HS, she didn't go to college, she tried to take classes part-time, but I think she felt different from all the other college folks because she couldn't grasp the need to be college educated (different from you, of course.) cause she thought this guy would last forever.  So when things came to an end she only had her beauty and she used that to find another guy.  She made sure to make changes with the new guy though.  Made sure car was in her name, condo paid for in full, in her name and got the guy to give her enough money to open a small high end shoe boutique.  Second guy was married too.

As we got older, we would talk about why she was in these relationships, she explained that's how she thought it was supposed to be.  Her mother had done the same thing.  Her mother was a "kept woman"/mistress for 35 years, (Mom's guy was a long playing professional football player-worth millions).

It was really weird how she broke up with rich guy #1, she had flown out to meet him in L.A. and got photographed with him at a party.  In the photo, she was identified as wife.  The actual wife was doing business with someone she had never met and that person Googled her, my friend's picture popped up along with many other pictures of them together.  When wife finally met the business associate, the associate was like you don't look anything like your pictures and showed wife the pictures from Google.  Wife then became suspicious and started investigating.  Found out about my friend and confronted husband.  Husband/boyfriend dropped my friend about a month later after 6 years and one child together.   Rich guy continued to pay for stuff for about 3 months (like a severence package) and then it was over.  Just like that.  He wanted nothing more to do with her or child.  She was too ashamed to take him to court for child support.  She was like "On to the next".

I do think she was envious on me too though, she wanted the husband and family.  But as beautiful as she was she didn't know how to be #1.  She didn't appear to have self esteem issues but as she aged it was apparent.  Now in her 30's, she's still a kept woman.  [/quote]

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