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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]why would the kids be fucked up?[/quote]

Because their dad is having a long term extra-marital affair, leading a double life, and devoting his time and money to a deceitful relationship. Is it possible the kids will emerge unscathed from this example of a husband and father? Maybe, but his kids are likely going to have some major relationship issues when they grow up. They will not have an ideal marital relationship to model themselves after. If one or both of the kids is a girl, she will likely enter into unhealthy relationships as a result of her father's influence. Kids are not dumb or ignorant. They will likely full well know about the situation sooner rather than later. They will enter into adolescence deeply ambivalent about committed relationships and marriage. It's simply a sad legacy to pass on to your kids.

As for the reasoning, that if it weren't the OP, it would be someone else, that doesn't really absolve the OP from her complicity in this mess. Sure, there would likely be a different mistress, but that doesn't make the OP less culpable for her role in this.[/quote]

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