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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People want to find a way that the victim could have prevented the situation in order to reassure themselves it could never happen to them.  Wishful thinking but it doesn't guarantee anyone's safety.[/quote]

That's not entirely fair. I posted earlier saying there but for the grace of God. I have no assurance that this could not have happened to me; I behaved just like Emily Doe in my college years and even a few times in graduate school. At the time I was just embarrassed to have made a fool of myself; I was too clueless to realize how incredibly risky that behavior was. And so I damn sure want to teach my kids as best not to ever do anything like that - that binge drinking is not some harmless adolescent rite of passage.

Drilling basic self-protection measures into our kids isn't a fantasy. It will not keep them from all harm or prevent any possibility of rape or some other horrible crime. But it may decrease their odds of facing such a terrible situation as Emily Doe, or something even worse. [/quote]

I think what has so many PP's dander up is the rather noxious focus on what Emily Doe could have differently. Seriously. Over and over and over: binge drinking is bad! Drinking is bad! And my favorite, completely irrelevant one: hookup culture is bad! So much focus on what the victim did or did not do, and so very little on the fact that this man, and many like him, feel entitled to a woman's body whether or not she wants to give it or can consent. There's very little focus on that. For some reason.[/quote]

I think it's been posted 70x because some loon kept posting some crap about helping rapists rape. 
[/quote]

You mean the person who was pointing out those posters who insist on identifying all the reasons why Emily Doe brought this on herself and what she should've done differently, as opposed to looking at [b]why the guy felt so entitled and how we change that mentality to stop these crimes?[/b][/quote]

That's a good point.  Look back at this thread, and compare the number of posts talking about what the victim did wrong and how the victim (and other women) can "avoid rape" in the future to the number of posts trying to figure out what got the rapist to this place and how he can avoid THAT in the future?[/quote]

Well I'm not a rapist and I don't know what motivates them so I'm a little lost there.  Suggestions?

I do feel personally responsible for myself and my daughters though so for my little family I'll focus on personal safety and looking out for others. That's just an easier/more relevant conversation for me. 
[/quote]
Suggestions?  Sure.  How about, you have no right to touch another person without their consent.  Yes means yes.  Know right versus wrong, etc., etc., etc.  It doesn't start or stop with personal safety.  We need to teach people to respect other people.  If some dude is horny, he needs to keep it in his pants unless the other consenting party has said YES...and even simpler, is conscious.

Brock's Dad must have had your mentality, which is why he failed to teach his son that rape isn't right.[/quote]

And how about, women are not puzzles to solve so you can score.  Women are human beings, and sex is not the end goal of an obstacle course.[/quote]

So who are these boys I can teach and how do I do this given that I'm not their parent/teacher? 
[/quote]

You're being facetious here, but regardless: teach your girls to expect and demand that they will be treated as human beings.  Teach them to speak up when they see women and girls being belittled.  [/quote]

What about also teaching your girls what to do if they meet up with a Brock Allen, Jessie Matthew, or Joran van der Sloop? How can they speak up for themselves and defend themselves in a similar situation? Many of us think they have a better chance of doing that if they're not drinking heavily.[/quote]

I assume you're sending them for martial arts training as well. [/quote]

Not necessarily martial arts training, although nothing wrong with it. Trying to be physically, mentally, and emotionally strong? You bet![/quote]

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