Reply to Vent about marrying someone from a very underdeveloped country

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel bad for your husband. I didn’t read all 50 pages, but when visiting his family you should follow his lead. Let your children live the way his family does, and respect his intention not to show up with too many possessions. You can stand to be a little “bored” for a month. Focus on trying to learn the language or something [/quote]

Op here. Easier said than done. Our son has asthma and he hasn't stopped coughing since we landed. The kids have also not been eating well and dh doesn't seem to mind because he's used to the food here. Every time a visitor comes to visit from his family I notice he gives a big stack of money. I think DH is stressed because of the amount of money we are expected to give here. If he can give everyone cash we should be able to buy clothing. I work FT. At first, I went along with it but then I decided to go shopping. I bought clothing for the kids and gold earrings for several people in my family. Dh is the type of person who thinks I should give all the extra money to the poor even though we don't have our house paid off yet. I do that sometimes but I also like to save money and buy nice things for myself and my kids. Dh is too extreme. He's also spending a lot of money to build a mosque in Bangladesh. They have tons of mosques here and Saudi Arabia just donated one in his city. Women aren't allowed to go to the mosques here. I think that's more of a South Asian thing due to overpopulation but I still find it absurd. They could find a way for women to be involved if they cared about making things fair. [/quote]

This profligate spending would break up my marriage. [/quote]

OP has described over 55 pages how little her husband cares about them. But now that she knows what he’s really like, doesn’t explain what she’s going to do about it when she gets home. I guarantee if my husband dragged my kid somewhere and then didn’t care about the kid coughing or eating we’d be having a very tough conversation when we got home. [/quote]

In another thread she talked about how he threatened to divorce her if she didn’t go on one of the trips to Bangladesh.  OP just likes to complain.  She’s not going to anything about anything. [/quote]

I know. I called her out on that too and she conveniently ignored. [/quote]

Op here. So what do you propose I do? Divorce him first because he threatened? He wasn't serious. SA don't divorce easily. I don't think a single person in his family has ever divorced. [i]If you reread the title it says vent post. [/i]

[/quote]

DP
You have been given many proposals about what to do in your 55 page thread about life in Bangladesh.

It’s clear you don’t or won’t change a thing.

You’re just posting what you think are clever observations about your supposed husbands supposed emerging market family.[/quote]

This is OP. Please be specific. Some people have suggested I leave early. Some have suggested going to a hotel. Some suggested never returning. You're just trying to stir up things. At this point, I have 2 days left, and as I said in the title this was a vent post because there isn't a lot I can do unless I left early but I chose not to do that so we didn't offend his family. It also would have been expensive to do that. When DH said the divorce thing he was but I knew he wasn't serious. I spoke to him about not threatening divorce again. It's not like we can do marriage counseling here and because these trips have only happened every 5 years I am trying not to worry about it. There has been a lot of good advice that I have copied so I can read it later. I think the best advice has been from people who have been in similar situations. Reading about something and experiencing yourself is very different. When we stayed with SIL there was less dust. I think it's indoor dust that is causing the most problems for DS. I do love DH's family so it's hard because the trip isn't all bad. I think the best solution is to stay for 2 weeks.

[/quote]

Save your “pls be specific” BS for someone else.

Your manufactured posts and sock puppet accolades have asked & answered multiple times. [/quote]

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