Reply to What do you do when your adult child goes into therapy and lays blame at your feet.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Funny how we all swear not to repeat our parents’ mistakes. And than your children grow up and blame YOU for all YOUR mistakes. Funny how that happens from one generation to the next.[/quote]

Well who else would be blamed for my parenting mistakes if not me?

Just because we want our parentings to acknowledge their mistakes doesn't mean we can't own up to ours. [/quote]
Do you believe they set out to hurt you? If so, don’t they deserve punishment?[/quote]

Huh?  No I don’t believe my parents set out to hurt me. They aren’t sociopaths. But my mom was a hoarder who was so mentally ill she couldn’t provide stability, and said really cruel things to us consistently. I was called fat, a b***h, stupid, etc. We were screamed at for everything, like falling and skinning a knee, and my siblings and I walked on eggshells hoping not to upset mom.

I bear no ill will toward my mom. I know that she loved me and did the best she could. However, it was not enough to give me what I needed. As you can imagine, I’ve had to do a lot of work on myself to overcome the challenges I have from my upbringing. This happens to a lot of kids. Perhaps not to the same degree, but a lot of parents who are trying their best are still making mistakes that will negatively impact their kids in the figure. It doesn’t require punishment, but acknowledging a mistake isn’t the same thing as punishment. [/quote]

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