Reply to No Kids at Wedding - Why So Much Anger?!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]When did I say you did? I was simply having a laugh at the ridiculousness of everyone on here who has said thus and thus is acceptable and this or that is not. As if anyone owes anyone else an excuse, a reason, a justification that needs to be “accepted.” I’ve turned down invitations and I’ve learned that some people were upset I did not attend. Oh well. I don’t care if someone doesn’t understand or like my decisions.

But as I said, there is clearly a market for this type of reply card. Money to be made, people! [/quote]

You quoted me so I assumed you were implying as much.

But that's the thing. Nobody is saying the invitee owes anyone an excuse. At least nowhere near the extent we see the other side dictating what is and is not acceptable in terns of people planning their own wedding.

People are saying couples owe it to family, society, and 12 year olds with dreams of attending a wedding to invite children to weddings.

[quote]I’ve turned down invitations and I’ve learned that some people were upset I did not attend.[/quote]

Then that is silly. Nobody should be telling you that you owe them attendance, or that you owe them a wedding with children invited. 
[/quote]

That's not precisely what I was trying to say about five pages ago, fwiw.  I think weddings used to be bonding experiences for young cousins when I was growing up.  Losing that because people want nicer Instagram pictures to post, if that's really why this generation is doing it, is really to bad from my perspective.  I have some great memories of those times.  It's a shame to me that young people aren't valuing those experiences for kids to hang out together.  If that's what you want, I can arrange for babysitting or not according to how much I value you in the family tbh.  It does inform my opinion of you and makes me think maybe you're caught up more with appearances and more inclined to make the event all about you instead about the larger family.  You're allowed to think me some sort of judgemental oldster, but I'm allowed to make that judgement of your selfishness etc, also. [/quote]

Hey oldster, what was the average cost of those weddings back in the 70s/80s that you are referring to? Oh, that’s right, a fraction of what a wedding costs today. You sound as dim as the Boomers who go on and on about how they own a home (they bought for $85,000) and they just don’t understand why young people can’t afford a home these days, they’re probably poor because they buy Starbucks. Weddings are astronomically pricier these days, so no, not everyone and their kids can be invited. [/quote]

Well we did our wedding 30+ years ago at a church.  Since we had to pay ourselves and were young and poor, we also held the reception at the church fellowship hall. Hired a church member who ran a catering business to provide the food, and donated to the church to have several of the "women of the church" help with serving the food.  
Since it was at a church, there was no dancing, alcohol, etc.  It was a 2 hour luncheon/cut the cake and we were done.  Then we paid the janitor fee. 
So our wedding, including the rehearsal dinner (also at the church fellowship hall, so no alcohol yet again) was about $4K total for 120 people.

But most people are not willing to do that type of wedding and reception
But it can still be done for under $8K [/quote]

I don’t know anyone who has had that kind of wedding, and I sure would rather get a sitter and go to a fun wedding with alcohol and good food and dancing. [/quote]

But the point is that some of the wedding expenses these days are over the top because the couple wants amazing photos. The venue has to look amazing, for the photos. The food has to look amazing, for the photos. But It doesn’t really need to be that expensive to be fun.  We got married fifteen years ago for about $18K for ~150 people with an open bar, dancing (just a DJ not a band) and it was lovely. A friend’s wedding that happened before us cost $40K with a live band the bride loved very much and a choice of three desserts. Great, if you can afford it!  Both weddings allowed kids.

No work friend thinks your invitation includes their kids and no work friend with a live brain will bring their kids to your wedding. I have never gone to a wedding where I saw kids at the work friend table. Someone raised that as a strawman earlier and it’s laughable. Nobody does this unless you work with complete idiots. Similarly, no work friend will be offended if you spell out for them that their kids are not invited. They know the drill.

The point of inviting kids is so that the kids can hang out together and get to know one another, and have family experiences together. Because weddings are about family, and not just about you.

So invite kids or don’t, your choice.  We’ll just secretly judge you. [/quote]

Been around kids lately? They will probably all be on their devices ignoring each other. Not playing Red River like you remember in the days of yore.[/quote]

NP. My kids aren’t allowed to have devices at dinners or events, so no, they aren’t on devices during wedding receptions and family reunions and dinners and play dates. We aren’t rude, and my kids do play games and have a childhood. [/quote]

That’s fine but you know many parents don’t share that philosophy. So your kids won’t have anyone to talk to and will be begging you to leave.[/quote]

Maybe your family has different rules and allows children to behave this way, which is why you think it would happen,  but this is not what has taken place at family weddings I’ve attended.[/quote]

Sure, sure. Every time I got out to dinner I see large family groups and the kids are always glued to their phones, not interacting. [/quote]

That’s what happens when you “go out to dinner” at the Olive Garden. I go to nice places where there are only adults. I also don’t “go out to dinner” at 6 p.m. [/quote]

This sounded so much more superior when it was in your head.  :roll: [/quote]

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