Reply to Vent about marrying someone from a very underdeveloped country

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op sorry that is a really challenging situation.

I think that if it were me I’d treat the trip almost like a spiritual retreat for our whole family, where we have the opportunity to make do with the absolute minimum, to get by with less, to eat less, and to challenge ourselves to develop appreciation for the life we have in the states.

I also think that this trip is a priceless gift to your children that you (and they) may not fully appreciate until many years later when they are older and grown adults.

When I was young, we spent a few summers in my parents country of origin, and we lived in similar conditions. First, as kids, we adjusted to the vastly different standard of living pretty quickly. Second, the family relationships and connections we made while there with our cousins were unlike any other. Third, I really think it offered me a broader perspective and ability to appreciate the modern comforts and conveniences we enjoy at home.

I mean I still kind of hated how we had to bathe by mixing the cold and boiling hot water to bathe and I hated using an outhouse especially late at night, and relying on only fans to keep us cool in the peak heat of the summer. There was one family we stayed with for a while who did not have toilet paper in their outhouse. They used scrap pieces of paper from the kids school notebooks, which when you fold and rub together for a minute, eventually softens into something that feels like a paper towel.

It’s so easy to take things like running water and toilet paper for granted.

But it gave me a lifetime of ability to have perspective and feel grateful for what we have. And indelible memories that have stayed with me for a lifetime.

That said, I think it is much harder to go as an adult as we become set in our ways and I can acknowledge how hard of an adjustment it must be for you. Sending virtual support to you.[/quote]

Op here. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. My kids are having a blast and they say they want to live here forever. Everyone spoils them with sweets and there is always someone around for them to play with. The hardest part is the dangerous driving style. I think a lot of Americans would refuse to take their kids here based on that alone. It's very common here to cut in front of other cars on one-way roads. Sometimes there aren't any lanes and I am looking at a huge bus coming straight toward us. In Dhaka, the cars can't go very fast due to constant traffic but on the 2-3 hour trip to my husband's city, it's very different. [/quote]

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