Reply to Vent about marrying someone from a very underdeveloped country

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel bad for your husband. I didn’t read all 50 pages, but when visiting his family you should follow his lead. Let your children live the way his family does, and respect his intention not to show up with too many possessions. You can stand to be a little “bored” for a month. Focus on trying to learn the language or something [/quote]

Op here. Easier said than done. Our son has asthma and he hasn't stopped coughing since we landed. The kids have also not been eating well and dh doesn't seem to mind because he's used to the food here. Every time a visitor comes to visit from his family I notice he gives a big stack of money. I think DH is stressed because of the amount of money we are expected to give here. If he can give everyone cash we should be able to buy clothing. I work FT. At first, I went along with it but then I decided to go shopping. I bought clothing for the kids and gold earrings for several people in my family. Dh is the type of person who thinks I should give all the extra money to the poor even though we don't have our house paid off yet. I do that sometimes but I also like to save money and buy nice things for myself and my kids. Dh is too extreme. He's also spending a lot of money to build a mosque in Bangladesh. They have tons of mosques here and Saudi Arabia just donated one in his city. Women aren't allowed to go to the mosques here. I think that's more of a South Asian thing due to overpopulation but I still find it absurd. They could find a way for women to be involved if they cared about making things fair. [/quote]

This profligate spending would break up my marriage. [/quote]

OP has described over 55 pages of how little her husband cares about them. But now that she knows what he’s really like, doesn’t explain what she’s going to do about it when she gets home. I guarantee if my husband dragged my kid somewhere and then didn’t care about the kid coughing or eating we’d be having a very tough conversation when we got home. [/quote]

Op here. He thinks I'm being dramatic which is why I started this post in the first place. Dh grew up this way so he will never get it or he does get some of it but he's saving face. Leaving early would be out of the question for him due to what his family would think. I wanted to stay in a hotel for a few days and he said we would see but once here he said no and I'm sure it's because of what his family will think.

I don't understand the land disputes or why another family can't look over the properties. Dh entire dad's side of the family lives on the same block. His uncle built a septic tank on their property. They live next door so maybe his mom is concerned her brother might do something else. I try so hard to understand the cultural differences but there are so many. I have cultural difference fatigue. Dh's family is amazing. They are all so humble and sweet. If his family didn't like me I don't think I could stay with DH. As for the mosque building, I think he got pressured to do that.

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