Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you can do it without getting caught, then there's no harm done.

And divorce is messy, complicated and expensive. Particularly if you have kids.[/quote]

So untrue.

And, they will always eventually get caught over time.

Ask them how that turned out for them and their kids?[/quote]

Cheated for over 10 years with just over 20 women.  Never got caught.  Only one of the women got caught.  Still in touch with some of them.  For many, it's a lifestyle they know how to manage.  The new people get caught because they don't take the proper precautions.  .[/quote]

Be honest. You feel no guilt at all?[/quote]

Cheating wife here. Do you think my husband feels guilty that I do everything at home and for the kids yet make more money? No I can tell you right now he feels no guilt. He says,"You're the one who wanted kids." He is not going to be guilted into being an equal partner so why should I feel guilty? Honestly, so long as he gets his weekly 15 minute sex why should he care what I do the rest of the time?[/quote]

PP again. I'm sorry that you're hurting, too. No one takes vows and plans for a marriage like that.[/quote]

You feel sorry for this callous cheater?[/quote]

Yes. I feel sad for ultimate acceptance of a failed state of marriage. It was never created to construct. Marriage was an institution created to grow and perfect with a complimentary partner. Why would I be angry towards a stranger? They aren’t cheating on me. I’m not cheating. If you feel angry towards a stranger, you probably have misdirected emotion. No one should be able to take your peace or joy. I get that it happens sometimes but embracing it as a way of life gives cheaters/abusers permission to still have negative influence over your life. My cheater didn’t pollute my ability to love, or empathize, or trust. Though it was a lot of work to avoid those consequences. This couple is so far away from a state of ideal family it is sad. No one plans for it but imperfection in humans can sometimes take over and steer everything off a cliff.[/quote]

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