Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve had a very different opinion on this than I do today. And I’m open to the idea that my opinion changes again in the future. Opinions are just opinions. 
Anyway, I now think that “cheating” is a poor term to use. A partner in a relationship may cheat the other side in a multitude of ways. Any significant change in the relationship that strongly affects the other, but is unilateral is basically a form of cheating. This discussion is very much oriented towards a definition of cheating that consists only of sex outside the marriage. That’s one example. But in my eyes (currently) the marital obligation was not simply to not sleep with other people… the other side of this commitment is to have a satisfying sexual relationship inside the marriage. A lot of marriages become lacking in sex, and people tend to view it as simply having intercourse or not. But for many partners it’s actually about intimacy, trust, self worth, and a very physical desire for touch and contact (not strictly sex. Intimacy). A partner (male or female) that unilaterally takes that away is to me just as un-fair as someone who reacts to this by seeking her/his needs elsewhere. 
In some marriages, I totally understand a “cheater”. 
[/quote]

Interesting. The cheater always has a story he/she tells him/herself about why what they're doing isn't cheating, how the marriage was already ruined, how the cheating is just a response to the way in which the non-cheater was doing something bad that justified the cheating.

Those stories told to the self to justify actions are what enables the cheater to compartmentalize behavior. [/quote]

You caught that too :lol: ?  They played right to the description of compartmentalizing the deceitful behavior.[/quote]

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