Reply to [Bethesda cyclist] Do you know this man?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]“My dad is genuinely sick with remorse for his actions and the pain and fear he has caused,” wrote his son, JP Brennan. “He has his struggles that he has been working through for many years that sometimes overshadow the man he is, [b]but trust me, the love is always there[/b]. He, like all of us, has work to do understanding racial injustices.”

His daughter, Meagan Brennan, said: “I am extremely hurt and upset for what he did. It was a very bad thing, but [b]it does not define who he is[/b].”[/quote]

I feel terrible for his children. But, no, I don't trust you. You're not exactly objective--both because he's your father and because this reflects very pooly on your whole family. And it does actually define who he is, because he did it. [/quote]

DP...And, 'love' is not enough.  So many horrible things have been perpetuated and endured by loved ones. The statement from the DS tells me this isn't new behavior for Brennan.  I doubt he would have done this to people who were bigger, older or black. Wonder how bad it was for his kids growing up. [/quote]

I finally get why it is sad. He won’t have a chance for real happiness because he will spend all of his life trying to undo the conflict and turmoil that he normalized. This is so sad.[/quote]

There’s such a contradiction for me in the love being there but the lack of understanding racial injustices.

Can you really have love for someone of another race without having an inherent understanding that their life is unlike yours via the multiple lenses of racial inequality.

Maybe his son is meaning his father has a love for people but a lack of understanding regarding racial injustices? Does it not cancel out the love part?

Somebody help me understand what I am missing here. [/quote]

No expert here - but I think as humans we have to believe we are loved by our parents, even if they are monsters. We look for tiny indications to help build our self worth. The people that don’t have severe issues — and even the people that do. Narcissists build their entire identity off of a projection because they literally cannot look at their true self without shame and self-loathing.

The boy is speaking from what he knows. Doesn’t mean it is all wise and all knowing. He also alludes to this behavior being common in the household, even outside of race. It could be defensiveness and protection with trying to help others support or better understand his “source”. [/quote]

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