Reply to No Kids at Wedding - Why So Much Anger?!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My SIL had a no kids allowed destination wedding at a $1000/night resort that was hours away from an airport. We had a 2 year old and had never left him overnight and no childcare options. SIL tried to paint this as an amazing opportunity to take a child free 'vacation' (all her close friends also had kids) but we didn't end up going so her only sibling wasn't there.[/quote]

Your husband didn’t go alone? When it’s a sibling and your only sibling and your child is 2 and the other parent can manage for a few days solo, not going is pretty aggressive. Did you encourage him to go? Did his sister go to your wedding? [/quote]

DP but neither DH nor I would have encouraged or nagged the other person to go. 1K a night and a bunch of PTO to fly to a destination wedding 
w/ o spouse and kids would be a no go for us at that time in our life. It’s insanely rude to assume your guests are going to sacrifice their family vacation time and budget because you want a destination wedding. If you want a destination wedding by all means have one but the obligations to attend completely change when you choose this path.[/quote]
How much pto do you need for 1 night? You are just making excuses to be upset because they didn't invite your precious little toddler. [/quote]

We’ve been told over and over that all brides (excuse me, 99.9%) are perfectly happy and never, ever rude when someone declines to attend their wedding for any reason whatsoever. But you seem to be very upset that someone chose not to use PTO to go to your wedding here. Oh dear. I guess you are a special one. [/quote]

It's not upsetting people decline the invitation. It's upsetting people making up disingenuous excuses for doing so.

Why lie about PTO and babysitters? Just say you are [b]declining an invitation to an event that does not accommodate you in the special way you want to be accommodated.[/b] Babysitters and PTO is a passive aggressive protest, nothing more. [/quote]

Isn’t that…any event anyone ever declines?

I’m declining your MLM party because it doesn’t accommodate my special wish not to be sold Mary Kay products.

I’m declining your happy hour because it doesn’t accommodate my special wish not to be around your odious boyfriend.

And I’m declining your wedding because it doesn’t accommodate my wish not to spend an extra $200 on you.

I don’t see why the latter is any different than the former two?[/quote]

We are in agreement. You just said the reasons you are declining by providing examples. We agree.

[/quote]

So why is it “disingenuous and passive aggressive” to say no to your wedding? Is it disingenuous and passive aggressive to decline your other invites that don’t suit me? [/quote]

That's not what I wrote. "[People] making up disingenuous excuses" is what I wrote. It's not disingenuous and passive aggressive to decline an invitation to a child-free wedding. Commenters on these topics often will exaggerate the effort needed to attend a child-free wedding. If you can't attend for whatever reason or don't want to, that's fine.

So many people have latched on to that statement about disingenuous excuses. People are literally cancelling families over others choosing a child-free wedding. But yeah lets take me to task for criticizing people whom I believe are basing excuses on exaggerated circumstances.

[/quote]

NP. Ohhh noooo, did people “latch on” to words you wrote? [/quote]

Yes. Several people are obsessing over it. I'm beginning to think it means there's more truth to it.[/quote]

Keep backtracking and deflecting! You’re like a reality star who blames “the edit” for the audience not liking their words and behavior. [/quote]

You sincerely, sincerely need therapy. Make your predictable adolescent retort. I don’t care. But your level of perseveration is psychologically unhealthy.[/quote]

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