Reply to Vent about marrying someone from a very underdeveloped country

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oookay.

Consider talking to your husband when you come back. Let him know that you wish you were better prepared.

[b]Having to bathe out of the bucket is not the end of the world.[/b] Not eating chicken nuggets is not the end of the world. Being constantly cold would be, so keep your list reasonable, and see how you can work around it, the next time you go. Maybe he goes first and you join him later, to keep your portion of the trip shorter. Tell him you want to see the country, not just sit at home. This will automatically get you to places where you will have access to different food, shopping, etc.

And unless you have very young kids, work on expanding their palate. There are things you can do here to make your next trip easier.[/quote]

OP here. Have you done this for a MONTH? I think not. Our kids are very young, and we were advised that boxed food would be better. We all got super sick during the last trip. Please let me know what we can do to make our trip easier... I planned how to make this trip easier for months.. there is only so much you can do. His family doesn't live close to a big city.. there isn't a lot of shopping and restaurants around... going out to restaurants and using a supermarket is a newer concept here...

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I was born and raised in India. Although I have lived here for the vast majority of my life (35+ years), when I go back, I still bathe with a bucket and a mug. NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. My DD, especially when she was young, actually enjoyed playing in water that way.  You can 100% get clean this way.

If you share where in the world you are, I bet people will have suggestions for what you can do to make this more pleasant. In general though, you may have to cook food. There are no parts of the world where you are going to get sick from eating hot foods, especially prepared at home.[/quote]

Yeah, this isn't relevant. You were born there. You're essentially like her DH. For most people 99 percent it would be a pretty big deal to do that for a month.

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Then maybe I should tell you about my white SIL who was born and raised in NJ and has no problems doing the same. She changes into local clothes the moment she gets there, takes rickshaws to get around (by herself! without knowing the language!), and knows the town better than I do at this point, because she goes out and explores. Hell, OP can conscript a family member or neighbors, especially teenagers, if her husband is not willing to take her out.

The purpose of a bath is to get clean. It doesn't make a big difference, whether the water comes out of a shower, or out of a bucket. Pour water, soap yourself, rinse off, and you're done. It's even easier with little kids. They can play in the water, and you can let them stand in the bucket and play. BTDT with my DD who was born and raised here, and has no problems adjusting when we go there for a month at a time.

There is so much helplessness here that is unnecessary. If DH is being an a$$hole, dump him, and find someone else to help out when you're there.[/quote]

That is such BS. Indian women are not safe alone, forget about foreign ones. Violence against women,  especially sexual violence, increased 87% in the last decade. 35% of all Indian women are abused at least once in their lifetime.  Stop with this fantasy about white women exploring cities alone. [/quote]

Oh FFS! Indian women aren't all sitting at home, worried about being raped. Especially during the day, they're fine, going out alone. More caution is warranted at night, but traveling with someone tends to considerably lessen risks. I am not saying there is no sexual harassment (ogling, catcalling, getting handsy), but it tends to be opportunistic, and often directed at younger women. One of the consequences of globalization is that white people are no longer the curiosities they used to be, especially in urban areas.

The increased reporting of sexual violence is due to it being not as stigmatized as it used to be. But keep in mind that as in the US, the number of reported cases are substantially lower than the actuals. The way victims of sexual violence are treated, is still quite primitive.[/quote]

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