Reply to Redshirting consequences at Lafayette

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense. [/quote]

Lol no.[b] The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way.[/b] That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous. [/quote]

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now. [/quote]

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?” [/quote]

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.[/quote]

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you! [/quote]

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy. [/quote]

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system.  You did it for your ego vs your kids.  I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system.  I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.  [/quote]

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?[/quote]

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades.  Those factors impact almost everything.[/quote]

The physical traits only matter in sports and those are by age. The intellectual abilities are not as connected to age and more with learning.

I don’t believe it’s an advantage, but if you believe those things, why didn’t you redshirt you kid? I still don’t understand what the issue is if some parents want to advantage their kids and send them later. We don’t blink an eye at tutors and expensive private schools.[/quote]

So, why did you hold back?  No, intellectual abilities are partly due to IQ, partly hard work, baring any sn or learning disabilities.  Older doesn't make you smarter or more intellectual.  It makes you less intellectual as you are not with true peers and with younger peers with lower expectations.  When expectations are lowered that's not smarter, that's gaming the system.

One of my kids is very short regardless.  At 17 they are still very short.  Should I have held them back 3-4 years to hope they'd grow more?[/quote]

Some of us put a lot of effort into our children’s nutrition, I wonder why you couldn’t do the same, it’s not that hard. When they were young it was like a had another extra job making sure they always had home cooked nutritious meals. They’ve never had junk food or sugary drinks!

Consult with their pediatrician, we were advised three servings of dairy per day, and make sure they eat about 1 gram of protein a day per pound of body weight. That’s a lot of meat, eggs, fish. Don’t even think about restricting food amounts if it’s clean, teenager boys eat a lot! In 6th grade my kid grew from 5’1” to 5’6”, it was crazy to watch.[/quote]

My kid doesn’t drink juice or any bad drinks and just milk and water.  Of course we all cook.  Even pack every school lunch.  That has nothing to do with height.  It is genetics.

Since you put so much effort into food, why didn’t you put the same into academics and extracurricular activities?[/quote]

Maybe the issue is that the food does not taste good. Do they say they like it, see them eating it, or maybe throwing away secretly? Cook fresh instead of doing a large batch for the week. Only saying it because that’s what I did as a child and the portions were often too small. I was very skinny.

If the child is in the bottom 20 percentile of height, I’d look first at nutrition, especially if it’s a boy. Talk to an endocrinologist, do regular checkups, tell your concerns to the pediatrician. The “genetics” you’re talking about may be human growth hormone deficiency which is treatable.

Last, spend less time on forums biatching about redshirted kids and more on your child who seems to be in a state at terrible neglect.[/quote]

Oh honey, the food is good and they eat no issue.  They eat four meals a day.  I don’t cook large batches.  You cannot change genetics.  I’m not giving my child artificial hormones that can cause other issues later in life.  Your projecting.  Maybe if you put half as much time into supporting your child’s education they could have gone on time.  [/quote]

Please get informed about this for the sake of your child. Genetics can also mean epigenetics as in the genes are turned on to make needed hormones. The ignorance is breathtaking.

If you’re against artificial hormones, are you also against diabetes treatment, because insulin is an artificial hormone. Against birth control too? Anti vaccine? I’m not surprised though, of course the most rabid anti-redshirters are also anti science and conspiracy theorists.[/quote]

Those things are nit comparable.  I’m ok with my kid being short.  They don’t want the hormones, so it’s a no.  [/quote]

Not saying that’s absolutely the case, but if the child is in the bottom 5% of height there may be nutrition issues or an underlying medical condition. At least be open and consult a nutritionist or physician it doesn’t hurt to have another qualified opinion. There’s no shame in that.

It’s not about wanting hormones or not, it may be that the body doesn’t produce them in sufficient quantities. Seriously, we’re not living in the Middle Ages.[/quote]

Slightly off topic but I think it’s important to raise awareness and this may still be the right venue. Short stature is defined below 5’4” height for boys and 4’11” for girls after puberty. It is a medical condition that can have nutritional and hormonal causes and it can be difficult to diagnose.

It can be treated before puberty ideally before 8-10 years old. Don’t chuck it to “genes”.

https://www.yalemedicine.org/conditions/short-stature-child

If a parent considers redshirting because the child is small for the age, consult growth charts and see if the child is in the bottom 5 percentile and discuss with the pediatrician this possibility. Please don’t let ignorance ruin your child’s life.[/quote]

Have you had yourself checked out?  With a personality like yours there's likely a host of underlying problems.

Your kid should, under no circumstances, be allowed to redshirt.  If anything, assuming everything you've said is true, they should skip a grade and be a year (or two) younger than everyone else in their grade.[/quote]

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