Reply to Do I have any right to be upset with my mom?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would be in a blind fury at my mother for this (former trial lawyer here). My mother did things like this when my kids were younger. Unfortunately, you have come to the realization that your mom is not there for you anymore--if indeed she ever was. [/quote]

And you need to come to the realization that your kids are ultimately your problem and if real life interferes with other people's ability to care for them, oh well. A blind fury because someone died? Seriously?[/quote]

Let's just remember it works both ways though.  All of the posters ripping OP apart would be the first ones to rip apart a poster that, say, left their mother or inlaws house early after agreeing to help them after an illness.  Seriously.  But hey, every individual person should own their own problems, right?  You should NEVER impose on "family" members, no matter what, or count on their help after they agree to help, or in any way have any expectations whatsoever?  I mean, as long as that works both ways, then I think it's a fine standard.  It never does though.[/quote]

Yes, if it was for a relatively less important reason.  But a death in the family trumps virtually all other issues.  We would give a poster grief that left a mother or in-law recovering from illness or surgery for something like "Husband just got an offer to go on a golfing weekend and I have to go home to watch the kids".  But to help a significant other on the loss of a parent?  No, no critique.  If someone was at their mother or other relative's home helping to care for them after illness or surgery and then got a call that their SO's mother had DIED, then you call a nurse service to come and help tend your mother and you go help your SO grieve.   Barring your own relative dying or critically ill in the hospital, you go to help your SO.  If your own relative is critically ill or dying, then you each have to care for yourselves and your families and support each other later.[/quote]

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