Reply to What was your thought process before bringing a step parent into your child's life?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some of the responses on this thread are disturbing. Do people really believe that once you are divorced/widowed and have children that you are no longer "allowed" or should want to find love again? I can't even wrap my mind around this idea. Humans are social creatures and we are all deserving of love. Sometimes marriages don't work out for a variety of reasons, again because we are HUMANS and not robots. I completely agree that one should not bring in another step parent unless it is a right fit for the family and that person gets along with your children. I believe that you can still have your children's best interest in mind and still have a new relationship. I am also saying this as a parent myself who is married, but I know that if my DH and I did not work out or he died, I certainly would hope I would not be considered a monster if I found an amazing and loving man that I wanted to share my life with, along w/ my children. I would also hope that my husband would do the same. I would want him to find love again. I would trust that the both of us would not bring someone into our children's life that was "bad". Also, your children eventually grow up and leave the nest and start their own famlies, and I would hope that your own children would want their parent to be happy and not alone. I think the other part of this thread that is strange is that we live in 2016, where many famlies are blended and come in different shapes and sizes, mainly because the divorce rate is high and shit happens! The people responding about being repulsed by this idea seem to be of an older generation maybe? I am in my mid 30's and have friends in the same age range and in their 40's who are divorced and remarried and they have blended famlies and things are going very well for all involved.   [/quote]

I never said I wouldn't want to find love again. What I said is that I, the mom of a tween and a young teen, would not move another man into the house while my kids are still living here. When they are off to college or otherwise out of the house, the house becomes fully mine again and I will live here as I see fit, with or without male company. Until then, no.[/quote]

Okay, I completely understand this point. Your kids are close to being out of the house and you would just wait until they moved away. I respect that. I was just wondering if you felt that same way about say a mid 30's women who may have a young child from their first marriage? Is it really rational to ask her to never find any love interest for another 15 or so years until that child has grown up and moved out of the house? I understand that for older children of divorce it is much harder to move another person in and why not wait it out. I just think it is not reasonable to expect this of a young divorced mother or widow. In fact I can see the benefits to having a family unit for the young child as they grow up. [/quote]

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