Reply to Intimacy vs sex-- which is more important?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe you are making an atmosphere of sex that is not fun/free/healthy/pleasurable, many men do that with the "I will act grumpy until I get it" phenomenon.... aka emotional abuse, or lack of sleep, or down time, or a million other things.

The female viagra pill failed the 1st time because they did not control for mean/controlling/abusive men. It only works in mutually supportive relationships. Being grumpy because you don't get it would be a factor that would make the viagra pill fail for women. Acting like a woman is broken because she does not want to have sex is also considered emotionally abusive.

I think somebody that does not know sex is variable, and if you think women have complete control over this... you don't understand women's bodies/minds/spirits (or people for that matter). Just like men who can't perform for various reasons. Things change, if you really want to talk about biology.

It's interesting you equate having sex with a measurement of how much your wife loves you, this is a key indicator of marriages that will fail.

Adaptable people do try to change a bad situation, then they try to change their perception (this is something I don't think you will ever get), then they try to change their reaction to it.... if they can't they perpetuate suffering. [/quote]
Sex is plenty fun/free/healthy/pleasurable in my bedroom. But I love your circular argument: if I withhold a basic need for long enough for you to naturally react, then I can use your negative reaction as a reason to withhold.  What if I stop being a financial provider for my wife, when she starts complaining how our bank account is always empty, should I then blame her grumpiness as the reason I keep my whole paycheck for myself?

Sex need not be (highly) variable. This is 100% a choice that is fully within my partner's control, like the decision to treat one another with basic respect/dignity there is some leeway here but not as much as you seem to be suggesting. And why would a woman want to NOT have sex for any significant period of time? Please give me an example of some legitimate reason. Note that I define "sex" rather broadly, its not just PIV.

"Can't perform" might preclude some sexual activities, but it sounds more like you are saying "won't perform" and I consider that a core relationship problem where I'd expect to see concrete actions (on BOTH sides....) to quickly repair the relationship and resume normal marital relations. So this would be a brief period of active, hard work (on BOTH sides) to mend things, not indefinite waiting around until one person suddenly "feels like" having sex again.

The male viagra pill does NOTHING for a guy's sex drive, because the guys taking viagra have plenty of sex drive but can't get an errection.
So viagra addresses the physical symptom of low penile blood flow.
No female viagra pill is ever possible because women's primary sexual dysfunction is mental (loss of desire) not physical.[/quote]

Women who can enjoy sex and easily and predictably O don't turn down sex. That is also backed up by research... so if you are not getting it, you most likely are not giving her an O easily and predictably or you have turned it into her "responsiblity"... both don't describe free/healthy/fun.

If you wife does not expect any money from you she won't be grumpy when your money is gone... it's her expectation that as a grown adult she needs somebody else's money that makes her unhappy not the fact there is no money.

You have clearly turned your wife into a fee for sex marriage... you have money and she has the booty and she better give it up. You are unhealthy ... it's sad actually. I have empathy for your wife and future lovers.

What planet do you live on... there is a "woman's viagra" pill... there is also a pill that kills the sex life ... it's call "the pill" ... educated yourself

good luck with your very uneducated and rigid view on marriage... your step children are bound to love you.  :roll: [/quote]

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