Reply to S/O disrespectful teen on the metro? What are we as parents doing wrong?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]...Disrespectful teen on the Metro.

OK, I haven't read the other thread, but I was a disrespectful teen on the L in Chicago at one point. I became a fully functional adult with manners.

It's probably not the parenting. It's probably being a teen, feeling invincible, feeling some sense of unfairness in the world without quite knowing what to do about it, swirling hormones, feeling safe with your friends, knowing that people are definitely judging you for your youth or your color or you gender or your socioeconomic status or your WHATEVER it is, and letting lose with the stress. 
[/quote]

Nope. Some people just so slow and pick up manners at the slower paste, like you.  Ability to handle the stress is never equal to lack of manners.  [/quote]

I am older now and have met many rude adults, as well as rude children.  I do have to say that there is a difference in my mind about disrespectful teens at home and outside of home. I disagree with first pp about picking up manners and wonder what do you consider nice manners? I agree with above pp about picking up manners later, but to me that reads like rude teen poster wasn't exposed to proper manners while young. Couple of years ago, I was driving a mom from Manhattan around to get some food for her teen son.  She kept saying how he is so difficult and yells at her and just won't do anything nice and follow any rules. She is an immigrant from a small village in Europe, but they became quite well off in New York.  Then she called the Japanese restaurant to see why was it taking so long to deliver the food to her son, at sport's practice and she turned into a screamer, swearer and it was so embarrassing to listen to this.  Now, she and I were barely acquaintances, so it is not like she lost her temper in a presence of her husband. I mean, would you scream your head of like that at a restaurant person while in a car with a person you barely know?  Yes, they were extremely late.  Now, while I witnessed her son being rude to her, he was actually very polite with me and other adults around. I always tell my teen DD, who has a quick temper at home, not to judge kids right away, but think about what is making them rude or act out, or try to put her down.  Few times, it turned out that there was unemployment, another time Dad was an alcoholic and had anger issues, so I try to educated my DD about this, and while she is often dismissive, I keep repeating it when different issues come up with different kids.[/quote]

Original PP here. Maybe, since I didn't read the entire thread, I missed the specifics of what bad behavior we're talking about on the metro...I meant loud clowning, mostly, in my day. Regardless, the responses I got to what I consider a fairly even handed reply are kind of telling. [/quote]

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