Reply to Infertility and my crumbling marriage

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[quote=Anonymous]so let me get this straight.

your husband got married for the first time at 49? what happened before then? That is exceedingly rare.

your husband married someone younger when he was 49 and is devastated about not having kids-if it was so important why didn't he marry the previous 20 years? why now?

you BOTH have suffered losses (and your body) yet he chooses to lash out at YOUR family? he even YELLS at your mother with cancer--for no real reason?

you describe him as having a terrible temper

you can't afford the money for donor eggs, yet you're in your 40s and 50s--what about paying for retirement and college at the same time?

he is not emotionally supportive of you.

Infertility is horrendous and can shake the best marriages. It can also expose the fault lines that have been there all along. I believe in this case you are seeing what your husband is truly like under stress--and he is not showing himself to be someone you can look forward to parenting with.

Cut your losses. Separate and in time, decide whether you want to life a full, child-free life with someone else; adopt, adopt an embryo or try donor eggs on your own or any combination of the preceding. But your relationship sounds doomed.

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