Reply to Trying and failing to force myself to want sex with husband

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[quote=Anonymous]OP  here. Thanks for asking what I need and what my husband could do.

The answer is that he is - at least for the time being - too broken to face a request that he improve things.

We did a year of marriage counseling. He never got past the passive- aggressive stage where he turned my complaints (all in "I statements" per our therapists) into wounds I inflicted. It became worse than before our counseling began.

He simply can't be asked or he retreats into his shell and then blames me.

My hope is that will change when his situation is better.

Maybe sex will inspire him to make dinner and get out of bed on time.

I'm staying in the marriage and just letting myself get used to the idea that at least for the short term I'm doing the hard work.

Who knows -- maybe someday I'll be in a dark place and I'll be grateful he's seen what a partner does in the worst of times.

I'm also going to see about getting a second dog. Our beloved dog is very old and declining fast. I would like to have a running partner and give my husband a reason to take longer, brisk walks.  Hope he gets on board after a month or so. [/quote]

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