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[quote=Anonymous]Some of these anti-technology posts are so weird to me, but to each his own!

My DD's phone is her lifeline, her administrative center of operations, and her primary means of communication with me during most of the day and evening. It's so strange to me that parents would demand that teenagers check their phones in downstairs at night!

My DD does her homework independently, gets good grades and has a life without my micromanaging her phone use! Like another poster said, I don't care what electronics she uses as long as she follows the basic rules  that have been have established, including rules about online safety.

I don't care whether her phone is in her room at night, in her backpack, or on the dining room table under a stack of school books. Half the time, she doesn't bother to pull it out of her backpack until she realizes that she needs to charge it. It is her responsibility to keep track of it. She has learned what happens if it is lost or damaged via carelessness. In 10+ years, I have replaced her phone only once for one of these reasons.

She is not obsessed with texting, boys (or girls), plays 3 seasons of sports, plus travel, is deeply involved with extra-curricular activities, has several close friends with whom she socializes, is generally respectful, obedient (for a teen), and well-rounded. She is silly, loves to hang out with family, enjoys putting together puzzles at the beach, loves board games, baking, gardening, and playing Minecraft (oh, the horror!) with her younger brother. She has had some sort of phone since the age of 8.

It has never occurred to me to take her phone away at any point, except for misbehavior. She stays up routinely until 1:00am doing homework -- on her laptop. All of her assignments are online, as her high school is moving to a paperless environment. Generally, her phone is dead by then (as it is most evenings) because she could not be bothered to charge it.

We see her phone as an enabler, not a distraction or the enemy. How else would she dialogue with classmates about projects, if she didn't have access to her phone? What about her music? She puts on Spotify in the evenings to help her plow through the 4-5 hours of homework/night. Occasionally, I send her little uplifting quotes or silly texts to help ease the burden. Who cares if she texts her friends who are up doing the same thing -- homework! What else does she have time to do in the evening? Where are all of your kids in school who have so much free time to text, post to Instagram and chat all night?

We have lectured her on the perils of posting even so much as a bikini picture on social media. College admissions representatives are looking. She knows not to send revealing pictures of herself via text, e-mail or other forms of social media. We've talked with her about the dangers of clicking on unsolicited or otherwise strange links, of online predators, of posting or sending sensitive personal information on or via the Internet, of sexting, or engaging in other types of risky behavior online.

I occasionally perform a physical spot check of her phone and review the phone calls to and from her phone online. I have told her that she should have very little expectation of privacy until she turns 18. She does not like this, but as long as I am paying...

This works for us. I recognize and respect, however, that all kids and families are not the same. Please don't suggest that anyone who does it differently from you is a bad parent.[/quote]

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