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[quote=Anonymous]You don't realize it, but you are criticizing.  Everything, so much so that she is on edge about ordering a salad.  Those are few of your examples, but there might be more of the same.  Your sound just like my mom, she means well, but compliments and praise are not in her vocabulary. She even told me, what is the point of talking about something I did well, or somebody that is positive, that is all done and we need to concentrate on the negative. I understand that this is ingrained way of thinking, even in my culture, Eastern European one.  I have become so defensive that I start cringing as soon as my mom starts talking.  And it is always something negative. I've even asked her to try smiling on occasion, just to see that life is good.  I am sorry you are having such an issue with your sister, and she might be also projecting her insecurities and dislike for her origin culture and behavior on you.  What I suggest is looking around at other people around you, yes Americans, who often will smile for no reason, say things, like "that is so great," and try not to question her every judgement. You two are locked up in a battle where she sees you as a judge and jury and you see yourself as her guarding and controller, even if that wasn't your intention.[/quote]

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