Reply to Boyfriend not interested in my family at all.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Then how much family time is "normal" for adults? What's your normal??[/quote]

My parents are local, about an hour away. I see them about once a month. This includes when they come by to see the kids. I don't expect my husband to be present every time. He does come for holidays (his family is all overseas so while we visit for a chunk of time there is no real splitting of the holidays.)[/quote]

My inlaws live 3 hours a way.   Before kids we saw them on holidays.  My DH calls his family once a week (always has even when we were dating) but he isn't a huge talker on the phone and neither are his parents so at most it may be a 20 minute conversation.  After we had kids it was maybe once a month seeing his family and it was really about seeing their grandchildren.  They are hands on grandparents that respect that as parents/married couple we have to make our own decisions.  They are actually my role model of how to be when our kids have kids someday.  I use words like I'm spoiled and lucky with our inlaws because I felt they really helped us when we were in the thick of it with young kids and never having couple time and it wasn't at the expense of having them too involved - they never tried to be the 3rd person in the marriage.

I think the most I have observed around here is weekly Sunday dinners when parents live really close.  And even then, I wouldn't say the girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse is obligated to go every single week.  In between the weekly dinners my friends talk/text with their mom and may include their mom or sister in activity DH would not want to do.  Like instead of going to Black Friday sales, going to see the Christmas lights at X  location, or sappy romantic comedy movie by myself, let me see if my mom or sister wants to go with me.   As long as it isn't every weekend where is an obligation that restricts what you can do as a couple, it's actually a plus of you getting to do something you really wanted to do and your DH not having to be dragged along to something he didn't want to do, and you getting time to spend with your family, and there is no judgment that he isn't with you.  Mom isn't going to say "what Larlo isn't here standing in line for Black Friday sales, what kind of man are you dating/married to".[/quote]

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