Reply to Boyfriend not interested in my family at all.

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Reply to "Boyfriend not interested in my family at all."

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, taking a step back from the specifics of your situation, here's a broad blueprint I think applies to most healthy cohabiting relationships (married or not). The waking hours you have available to you are roughly broken down between work and leisure time. Work time includes not just work outside of the home for pay, but also things like household chores/maintenance and childcare. Each couple should be pitching in roughly the same amount of time on work activities, so that if, for instance, one person works longer hours, the other person should pitch in more at home to keep the work effort balanced. On the leisure side, you can divide leisure activities into joint activities that both enjoy equally, joint activities that are more for one person's benefit than the other, and solo activities. Couples may distribute their leisure time differently between these different categories based on a whole host of factors, such as whether they are introverts or extroverts, but one important guideline is that the time spent on joint activities that are more for one person's benefit should be balanced between the two people's interests, and not predominantly focused on just one person's.

Looking at what you've described through the lens of that, it seems like your expectations and prioritires are way out of whack during those months that you're home. It sounds like you spent all day while he's at work on your solo activities (visiting your family), and then when your boyfriend is home, you're expecting him to join you for joint activities that are for your benefit (visiting your family). Where are your "work" hours to pitch in equivalently? Where are the hours for his solo activities? Where are the joint activities that are for both of you? Where are the joint activities that are more for his benefit? It seems like you do an awful lot of taking and not a lot of giving, but you dress it up as "prioritizing family" so that it seems noble rather than selfish.

I agree with others that it doesn't sound like you and your boyfriend are compatible, but I think you need to do some soul-searching beyond that to figure out how you can be good partner to anyone with your current expectations. [/quote]

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