Reply to losing interest in spouse in sexless marriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe she likes sex on vacation because, like so many women, she feels the burden of everyday responsibilities are heavy and exhausting, so her sexual side is pushed to the backburner. Do you do enough in the partnership and household, OP? You probably think you do, but you could go the extra mile. And don't make it about bartering. That makes women feel pressured and like prostititutes.

And if she doesn't want to do things sexually that don't feel good to her, who can blame her? You're a million times easier to please than she is. I get a sense that she feels sex is just one more demand on her, one more way to feel inadequate, and that you make it too much about you and you don't make it worth her while. You shouldn't have to guess whether she enjoys it.

If sexual enjoyment was limited for you, and you had no satisfaction or enjoyment from 99 percent of the activities your partner wanted to inflict on you, and then they begrudged you the one way you could get off, and you were exhausted and overextended on top of it, yet they made you feel like a failure and bad partner, yeah, you'd cry too.[/quote]

OP here.  Thanks.  I do as much if not more of the the responsibilities at home and with the kids.  Honestly the only thing I don't do is the laundry, becuase I always seem to do it wrong.  I do cooking and most clean up, equal share of childminding. I don't want her to do things that she doesn't want to, that isn't the point.  I have tried all the ways I can think of to NOT make it about me but about us, but it doesn't matter.  I have never begrudged her about wanting it one way, just that there are other ways that I would want to do it.  I have tried every way possible to make sex about her, but she won't allow me to.  I always asked what I could do, is there something you want me to do or stop doing and its always I don't know or no.

I get and fully expected that sex falls on the back burner when you are married and even further back when you have kids but I did not ever imagine it would just die.  I would be fine with 1x a month or even less, if she would just engage me like my wife.  That is all I want really.  She does in the ways that satisfy her, cuddling, talking, holding hands, but won't physically.  I don't want her to do anything she doesn't want to, it just kills me inside that she no longer wants to. [/quote]

any chance she was molested as a child?[/quote]

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